No Words
by amatheriz
Summary: Life was happy if you're a kid, Eren thought. Everything was simple and he had a friend named Levi. But as an epidemic sweeps across the country, he realized that he was caught between his conflicting emotions for his friend that left him, and for the consequences he was about to face when he decided to follow him.
1. The sound

**Edit*** So, I decided to reread this, and well.. it surely sucked even more than when I started to write this. I edited some parts so I wouldn't resort into hiding in shame. ;_; I will be editing the succeeding chapters as well, I guess.  
**

**To those that followed, favorited, and commented, thank you all. I can't believe you endured this. ^^; I love you people. I am still writing chapter 9.. Hope I can make up for the very bad start.**

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Grisha Jaeger was a local doctor in town and he has known the Rivaille family for they were his regular patient. They were a small family of three, the father, was a business man of some sort and was frequently on a trip. The mother, however, a woman around her early thirties was ill and was almost bedridden.

They have a son the same age as his own.

The thought of the young boy that was always alone by himself because of inevitable circumstances made Grisha feel a little hollow inside. Children of his age needed the utmost care and guidance they can get from a family, yet it seemed that the boy needed to get by on his own. His father prioritized his profession more than anything, and his mother needed to be taken care of. His little Eren was luckier for his wife was a solid ground that supports his family, and she was always there for him and his son no matter what.

With her, he felt he can do everything.

..

.

Eren has known Levi since he was nine. His father always tagged him along every week end to visit Levi's mother for her check-ups and medications. He knows that his father was a great doctor, but the woman's illness was something that he hasn't had a name for.

He still remembers the first time he met the boy. It was three years ago, and his father suddenly decided to take him along one day to work saying that he could use an assistant since he was a big boy already. Eren has never been that excited before in his life. He was finally allowed to see how his father worked, and he can finally go out of town. He heard that the Rivaille family has such a big house that was situated amongst the cliffy hillsides of Trost, overlooking the whole district.

.

It was around eight in the morning when they arrived at the place, and much to Eren's amazement, the house wasn't actually a big house, but a huge-ass, gorgeous-looking mansion complete with a courtyard. It stood alone amongst the dense forestry around, so much farther away from the other houses that are also erected along the hills.

Eren felt quite awkward inside the mansion, feeling like a misplaced item. The place was so big for him and it felt like he was being swallowed whole. His father went to the master's room already and he was now left waiting in a spacious room that has this massive glass wall that separates it from the courtyard outside. His father told him that he was sorry because he really cannot allow him inside the room for Mrs. Rivaille was really not so good today. Her caregiver said the medicines from last week seemed to affect her in a different kind of way than it supposed to be. And with that, he took off by himself and asked him to stay at the waiting room until he's finished. Today, his father also told him earlier, was the day he would also likely meet Mr. and Mrs. Rivalille's son, Levi. It is a Sunday and he had no classes, and he mostly just stays at home. The day seemed to be a failure already as far as everything went, but maybe his fate for today will still change.

.

_Man, looks like I'm gonna sit here all day_, Eren thought glumly. There was no sign of Levi, and not even a single human can be spotted anywhere. It was really quiet except from the occasional sound of birds outside, though he doesn't know how, but he still hears them nonetheless. He had been ogling at everything in sight, the furniture, the paintings, the decorative pots and the pristine wallpapers that adorned the walls. He wanted to take a closer look with everything, but he was too afraid that he might break something if he did so. The courtyard looks like something to explore too, but he needs to stay put and wait for his father.

The minutes had stretched slowly and the brunet was really getting bored out of his wits. He thought of actually sleeping it off (he didn't care anymore, really) when he suddenly heard something. It was faint and short at first, but it was undeniably the sound of a piano being played somewhere. Someone was playing a piece that he really did not know of, or heard of. Though it sounded really good, it somewhat has a sad tone to it. He doesn't know why, but he just feels it, that sound that pulled not only the strings of the piano, but the strings of his heart as well. He instinctively stood up and walked towards the direction it came from.

He was eventually led to an open room past the great hall to his left. The room is just as big as the waiting room and has the same glass wall that allows viewing of the garden outside. It held no doors like the other rooms (most of it), giving off an inviting feel. Here, the sun's light was pouring through, bringing the room into a soft glow. His green eyes trailed farther across its expanse, and he saw what he was looking for.

His back was turned to him as he sat behind the grand piano, playing a soft melody. It was a boy surely, and he was about his age or maybe younger than him. His hair was the color of a raven, and his skin looked pale. He watched him carefully as his little hands flew over the keys with seemingly no effort at all. He looked so small against the intimidating instrument, yet there was something about him that told Eren that he wasn't the type to be deterred. Maybe it was the way he stroked the keys, or the way his straightened back swayed lightly, precisely, along the melody or maybe it was the look of his total submersion in the bittersweet euphony. Maybe, it was everything.

And as if the boy sensed somebody watching him, the playing suddenly stopped and he looked around. There. Eren froze from the spot he's standing on, feeling suddenly conscious in invading someone else's privacy. As he can't seem to talk at the moment, the other boy opened his mouth to say something. The question was direct but his tone was curious.

_"Who are you? _

Eren gulped audibly._  
_

_"I'm Eren."_

_"I've never seen you before. What are you doing here?" _

_"I'm.."_

_ "Uhh.. I'm Dr. Jeager's son. He wanted me to come along with him today. I was just.. I heard someone playing and I just wanted to take a look. I didn't mean to interrupt you, really.."_ Eren immediately replied as he unconsciously scratch the back of his head.

After giving the green-eyed boy a scrutinizing look, the other boy replied in what seemed to be a resigned tone.

_"It's alright, I was just practicing anyway." _he said, as he tore his gaze away from him to look to the far off wall.

_"What's your name?"_

It was a stupid question, really, the green-eyed boy thought. Of course he surely was Levi that his dad has been talking about since there are just like five people in entire mansion. _Who else would it be? The maid's son?_ He surely dresses neatly to be one, though. Eren mentally smacked himself but he asked anyway to save the conversation. After what seemed like a lifetime in his head, the other boy answered again.

_"I'm Levi."_

The opportunity presented itself. _More stupid questions_, Eren thought. He'll just say anything that comes to his mind right now.

_"How old are you?"_

_"Nine."_ was the short answer he got.

_Well, he doesn't seem to be the conversational type, alright._ The green-eyed boy mused. Not the one to give up, he tried again.

_"It's really nice to meet you Levi!" _he enthusiastically chirped.

_"I just have to say that you are really good at playing the piano!"_ He gave him a smile that was wide and genuine. The raven-haired boy must have thought the same as he said a quick _"thank you", _and nothing more. An awkward silence followed, but Eren was determined to break it.

_"Will you play it again?"_

Eren is really hoping that the other boy will stop being so uptight. He's father is busy, he can't do anything to pass time, he was totally bored and he can't even talk with Levi in complete sentences. He is going to grow roots in the waiting room if he'll stay there any longer. His train of thought was cut off when he heard the other boy's response.

"_I've never played for anyone before, Eren."_

The green-eyed boy blinked.

_"Um.. Not even to your parents?",_ he asked, cocking his head to a side.

Levi shook his head.

_"Why not?"_

The confused boy unconsciously walked towards the raven-haired boy's direction, and upon realizing it, he asked, _"Can I sit beside you?" _and gave the other boy his biggest, warmest smile ever.

Levi automatically scooted to his left to give Eren a space so sit in. His eyes never left his face the whole time, transfixed in his smile. Once again the green-eyed boy tried.

_"So why not?" _he asked. He was sitting beside the other boy now, and he can clearly see his eyes. _His intense blue eyes_. Levi whipped his head the other way though, with a blank look on his face. He seemed to hesitate at answering but a reply came nonetheless.

_"Well, my dad was away for work and my mom is always sick. She does not leave that bedroom. I'm.. just mostly alone with Irvin. He's my piano teacher."_

Eren seemed to almost regret that he asked that question. He made Levi felt bad, and he felt bad for him too. If his half-sister could see him now, he could've sworn that she'd smack him at the back of his head in full force for being such an insensitive idiot. He guessed Levi was probably alone most of the time. His brows furrowed against the thought, and he wondered what to say next.

Levi watched as the boy with green eyes seemed to berate himself over something that has been said. He wanted to tell him that it's okay and it's nothing, just to erase the frown that now adorned the boy's face. It does not suit him, his smiles earlier were better.

_"Do you know how to play the piano, Eren?"_ he suddenly asked. The other boy seemed to snap out of his mental kicking and looked at him.

_"Uhh. I really don't know how". _The green-eyed boy said almost shyly.

_"I really don't have any talent with those kind of.. stuff." _

Surely he was just an average, talentless kid but her mom said that even if he lacked mostly in those departments he's got a huge heart and a much larger sense of will and determination. Eren's face suddenly lit up again and Levi almost got blinded from the bright smile the he gave him.

_"I'm sure I will enjoy it more watching you play it though."_

_"So.."_

_"Will you play for me Levi? There's always a first time for everything, right?"_

The raven haired boy looked at the other in face. He was again all smiles and beaming at him enthusiastically, silently encouraging him. His oh-so-green eyes looked so large, bright and alive. It gave him that strange, fuzzy feeling inside that he can't quite understand. He can't almost fight the small smile that grew in his face as he said, _"okay."_

_..._

_.._

Since then the two boys became friends, and every time Eren and his father went to visit at Levi's, they always end up there behind the piano, Levi playing and Eren silently watching in him in awe. The raven haired boy seemed to get better and better in playing the piano every time they meet. Since that day, they both look forward to seeing each other every weekend, the two of them slowly building their own little world together.

.

Levi does not feel so lonely anymore. His little bundle of sunshine was always there to make him smile even when he feels like crying. His smiles, his warmth, his laughter, enthusiasm and wonder captivates the boy to no end. The way that Eren almost pouts when he's upset or feeling a little sad, or the look of deep concentration in his face when he actually tries to think, endears him. His bright emerald eyes shines in determination when he wants something so bad. He can clearly see his swirling emotions behind those two orbs, and he always gets lost in them everytime. Even his stubbornness makes him way too adorable. He knew that he liked the boy very much but he is not the type to show affection with people. The green-eyed boy does not seem to mind though, and he knew that _he_ can probably read him like a book for he knows when he's sad, angry, happy, and excited. He never felt so much before, but he was feeling all of those now, along with the other things that he thought he shouldn't _feel_. Eren had become his sun, his warmth, and innocent joy.

He wants the boy to stay, and he wanted to stay at his side for as long as he can.

.

Three years later, Eren still cannot believe that Levi was his friend. Time sure is fast and he did not expect (but honestly hoped) them to be such good friends. Just one look at the young boy and you can already tell that he was from a fine family. His neat, nice clothes, the way he talks, and the way he walks. He has never seen such a graceful boy before. Not only that he really is wealthy kid, but he also has the brains and the looks to back it all up. Not to mention his mad skills with the piano. No wonder that his locker at school is flooded with love letters every day from his.. well.. _fangirls._ All of them expressing their admiration for him, hoping they would be given a chance. _Who would not like him anyway?_ Even the slightest of his actions makes him look more adorable. Like the way his cheeks turn pink when he receives unexpected compliments from him, or how he averts his blue gaze and pretends to do something when he stares at him, smiling. They have been friends for three years and he's still being shy around him sometimes. _He can really be cute like that._ He also takes note of how clean he always was with his stuff, making sure that everything is neat and sparkly. Even he himself smelled good (not that he tries to smell him or does he?). And even though he is not much of a talker, he is always straightforward about everything. But he wasn't being rude, far from it, actually, for he is rather really a gentle person inside.

It made his guts feel fuzzy just thinking about those things about Levi. _His gentle Levi._ It's like he wanted to put him inside a box, or his pocket, or something else so he could keep him.

He wanted him to stay, and he wanted to stay at his side forever, if he could.

* * *

..

.

He was almost falling asleep because of the cool wind that brushes past him, because of the inviting warmth of the raven-haired boy that he was leaning into, and because of the hand that gently tucks and brushes his hair ever so lightly to keep it away from his face. Everything else faded, from the trees, to the grass, to the falling leaves. He feels that he could just fall right now to sleep, to his arms, he doesn't even know anymore. His eyes fluttered and opened slowly as he heard his name, blinking the sleep slowly away.

_"Eren."_

He was still brushing his hair gently and the green-eyed boy can't seem to stay fully awake. He just managed a soft _"Hm..?"_ as a reply.

_"If you're going die tomorrow, what will you do today?"_

The sleepy boy stirred a little, smiling to the somewhat weird and unexpected question. Eyes now closed, he let his head drift completely to the other boy's shoulder, resting in his warmth comfortably. He's really going to fall asleep any moment now.

.

.

_"Spend the day with you." _


	2. Silence

**Edited*****

* * *

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Levi hated nights like this.

No matter how hard he tried he can't stop himself from shaking. He wanted to get away from this place, from this moment. He shut his eyes tight and covered his ears with his hands. He wished that the screaming would stop. That scream was the epitome of extreme pain. Raw, animalistic, unrestrained. He wished that he can block the world that instant but the sound that was echoing amongst the halls just goes round and round, never-ending. He wondered if Petra was already there.

He tried to stand up despite his fear, his legs heavy. It felt like something from a dream wherein you try to run, but everything is just so slow and your body felt like it was detached from you mind. He steadied himself and walked slowly. He cannot take it anymore. He took the lamp on his desk and stepped out the doorway. He was just going to take a look to see if she is alright. He himself was not.

_EEEAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHH!_

There it goes again. His heart was on his throat right now. He walked slowly along the hallway, the dim light of the moon illuminating his path. The echoing screams seemed to stop as he approached the room that belonged to his mother. He reached the door handle and gripped it tightly, turning it slowly. He pushed it a little and peered inside.

_"Mom?"_

There was no response.

Eyes wide, he scanned the room and called for her. She was not on the bed. Neither was Petra.

As his eyes adjusted to the dark room, he opened the door halfway. In a far corner of the room was her mother, sprawled in the floor in tangled mess of clothes and blanket. Her body was twisted in such an odd way that made Levi shiver inside. He placed the lamp at her bedside table and walked closer to her.

_"Mom?" Are you okay? _He said in a hushed tone.

He crouched at her side, and touched her. She felt so hot. She was still breathing and he heard the harsh sound of air as it went in and out of her lungs. His previous fear was replaced with immediate concern as he shook her shoulder. He tried calling for her once again, more forcefully now.

_"Mom, can you hear me? Are you alright?"_

_ Please talk to me! "_

_"Mom?"_

She uttered a guttural sound in response.

_"NNNGGGGHHHHHHHHHH…"_

_"Mom?" _

_"L.. llleee… vvviiii.."_

He reached for her head as he tried to turn her torso around. Her eyes were still closed. She was sweating all over and her hair stuck in her face.

_"Leeevvvv..iiii"_

_"I'm here Mom."_

_"You're okay now. Does something hurt? Please tell me."_

He was also beginning to sweat now, feeling the heat radiating from her body. His heart was still racing. She suddenly started to breathe rapidly and her eyes shot open.

_"Mom? Please, please relax. I'm here." _The young boy said comfortingly as he stroked her face.

Her blue eyes were hazy and unsteady. It seemed to move on its own, like someone dreaming with their eyes open. Her left hand was now clutching his right arm tightly, her nails digging into his flesh. He did not break it away. A sound escaped from her lips again, garbled, incoherent.

_"Aaaa .I.. Ii.."_

_"I.. I'mmmm..ss…"_

_"I.. sss… sssooorrrryy… Leevvv..iii"_

_._

Her grip on him was getting tighter and tighter but he cannot seem to remove his gaze from her face. Her blue eyes were refocusing now. And the glazed, hazy look was fading. It was shining brightly despite the dark of the room, looking so large, so deep, so mesmerizing. Her glaze fell on him slowly, eyes unblinking. Her lips twitched as if to say something again but no words came out. The young boy's heart pounded, feeling sick in his guts. Something was very wrong about the situation but he cannot point his finger on it. He felt the deadly grip she has on him now, and tried to free his arm, prying her fingers open. Raw fear was crawling back on his skin when she did not budge, her eyes wide and still unblinking. It seemed like it's going to pop out or her skull any moment.

_"Mom, please let me go of my arm. You're hurting me."_

_"I'm not going anywhere. Please."_

He could not comprehend anymore what's happening when she opened her mouth wide, inhumanly wide. She bit his left arm and everything went red. All he knew was the extreme pain, and the fear that went straight out of his throat in an agonizing scream.

_"HWAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHH!"_

Adrenaline pumping, he finally pried her fingers open and snatched his arm back pushing her away in shock. He scurried away in haste, breathing on his mouth as air seemed to only escape him. She has bitten some of the flesh in his arm and blood came rushing through the gash, hot, soaking his clothes. His eyes shot back to his mother, to her bright, bright eyes, and bloodied jaw. She was still looking at him, her torso twisted forward, hands supporting her weight. She looked like a wild animal. He wanted to run right now, away from this nightmare, from this creature that seemed to have devoured his mother. It was not her anymore. Her eyes suddenly unfocused again, and she let out a pained cry. She clawed at her face, trying to say something between her cries.

_"Levviii…sss..oooorryyy… I…I'mm sss.."_

And she let out that scream. That pained, excruciating scream he hears at nights like this.

Levi automatically retreated in fear, his back on the wall. He cannot make himself stand up and his blood does not seem to stop from gushing out. She continued her screams of agony, her hands pulling at her hair. The young boy's mind seemed to go blank as he stared on the writhing figure on the floor. It was when the door burst open and Petra came rushing in.

_"Master Levi!_

_"What's happening?!"_

_"Oh my God! You're bleeding!"_ she exclaimed as she rushed to his side. She quickly examined the damage and pulled a handkerchief out of her pocket. She pressed it against the wound to stop the bleeding.

_"Petra!"_

_"What's happening to my mom?! She bit me!"_

_ What's going on?! Why is she like that!" _The boy almost choked as he shouted, tears falling down his cheeks.

The girl looked at the woman on the floor, a look or horror in her face. Levi's mother seemed to have calmed down already, and was shallowly breathing once again. Smeared blood was drying up in her face and neck, and her bloodied fingers lied limply on the floor.

.

.

The next day, Levi's mother died.


	3. Unspoken

**If you people are still reading this, thank you so so much. I'm happy you guys liked it. (: I think I'm going to stop editing this chapter because it's too long already. ugh. Anyways. hope you like this one! Sorry for the unnecessary dots, for I can't put enough spaces between paragraphs... *cries*. If my english is bad... well...**

***And lastly, of course, I do not own anything other than my pen and tablet.***

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...

The funeral came and went by, and Levi's father has yet to be seen. Irvin and Petra stood by the boy's side through all of it. More relatives came to offer their condolences, most of them from his mother's side. His father was finally home at the day of her burial. The man was calm and collected despite of it all, seemingly prepared about the situation. No words are spoken between him and his son, for words meant nothing. He being there meant everything, and that is all that matters.

..

.

Eren has not seen Levi in school for about two weeks now. The last time he saw him was at the funeral. He seemed so cold and distant and he cannot make himself approach him. He can only imagine what it would feel like to lose his own mother. What will he tell him anyway? His father was also greatly affected about what happened, feeling almost helpless for not being able to save his friend's mother. He has been treating her for a long time and he actually knew that she was almost recovering when her body suddenly gave away. He has been locking himself at the basement for days, studying about some type of disease or maybe, a cure. Everything felt like a wreck, and Eren does not know what to do.

..

.

He was surprised to see Levi in class the next day. He still looked depressed, and dark circles had situated themselves under his eyes. He was staring out the window, his knuckles cradling his face. His blue eyes were blank. He contemplated whether or not to talk to him at that instant, but decided to approach him anyway.

_"Levi.",_ he said as he walked to him.

The blue-eyed boy does not seem to acknowledge his presence. He tried once again, placing a hand in the other boy's shoulder.

_"Hey Levi, you alright?"_

_"Do you want to talk?"_

The other turned his head, locking a dull gaze against him.

He felt and saw the concern in the brunet's face and he gave him a question in response.

_"Do you want to go out_?"

The brunet didn't even think twice.

_"Yeah, sure." _

The next thing Eren knew, they were cutting classes.

..

.

They found themselves sitting at a bench in the school's massive garden. They just sat there in an awkward silence, not seeming to know what to say to each other. Wanting to start a conversation, Eren racked his brain to try and think about anything. Maybe he could just say, _"How's it has been?" _or_ "How's your father?" or "How are you?" or "Have you been eating?" _The awkward feeling was already killing him and man; he does not know what to say! _What do you even say in situations like this?_ He's about to do a mental table-flipping when he heard the other spoke,

_"Eren, your face is all scrunched up, stop frowning like that." _

Caught off-guard, the brunet unconsciously smiled in return and scratched the back of his head. _Did he just give him the wrong idea?_ He felt a little defeated and gave him an honest answer.

_"I'm Sorry.. I just don't know what to say to you."_

His smile was gone from his face again, green eyes casted down. He can feel Levi's gaze on him, watching him intently. After what seemed like another awkward eternity, he felt his eyes leave him.

.

_"You don't need to say anything at all."_

..

.

They decided to just spend the entire morning sneaking off classes and eating at the school garden. They would just talk about everything and nothing in particular but never daring to go on about what has happened for the past two weeks. It was about eleven in the morning already, and Eren felt sleepy after eating and his non-stop talking. (Considering that Levi had said that he need not say anything at all, but heck all those frustrations had gotten to him alright.) They were now sitting under a big apple tree, hiding from the midday sun. He leaned to it's trunk for support, staring upward against the gentle swaying of its leaves and limbs. He looked at the other boy sitting beside him and found out he had fallen asleep some time ago while he was still blabbering. Though his head inclined slightly to his right shoulder in such an uncomfortable way, he still looked at peace. It made him smile. It has been weeks since he last saw him, and he can honestly say that his absence makes him feel lonely. He was glad that he had also been able to make him smile earlier. Scooting to the other's front, he decided to adjust the sleeping boy's head in a somewhat non-neck-stiffening way. Just thinking of how it would hurt later makes him cringe.

"_Ughh. I hope he does not wake up_," he thought as he touched his right cheek.

It felt smooth and soft. He turned the other's head towards him and he can't help but notice his skin that was pale like delicate porcelain. He had never been this close to him before, and he cannot help himself. He stared. He sure looks cute when he's sleeping even though he's really tired at the moment. He cannot fight the heat that was growing on his cheeks as he looked at the boy's beautiful face. _How can a boy be so pretty?_ Maybe he'll actually think about that later.

It's as if his hands had a mind of its own, he begun to trace small circles on the other boy's cheek with his thumb. Yes, he is _beautiful_, he thought and confirmed. _And it sounded wrong._ And it also feels so wrong for him to actually like the thought. And it felt even more wrong for him to want to place a kiss on where his thumb is right now. It has already left his smooth cheek not so long ago and traveled downwards. All his thoughts seemed to leave his mind completely as he gently traced the delicate shape of his slightly-opened mouth. It was soft and warm.

He could feel the other boy's tingly breath on his thumb and it sent a shiver down his spine. His breath hitched and his heart pounded on his chest like a wild animal. He never had felt this way before, and it was scary and exhilarating at the same time. His heartbeat continued to thunder in his head as he leaned slightly forward, green eyes entranced with the other' lips.

_This is so wrong, this is so wrong, this is—"_

He froze in his tracks as he suddenly saw the sleeping boy's eyes flutter. _Oh shit. _Eren quickly jerked his hand back like it was on fire (and it was) the moment Levi's eyes flew open. His face was all red and he seemed to stop breathing.

.

Levi could still feel a ghost of a touch on his lips as he opened his eyes, his gaze falling into the fidgeting boy in front of him. Maybe he was just imagining it? The brunet was red on the face and he was looking everywhere except him. He wondered what happened.

_"Eren, are you okay?" _ he asked in a concerned tone. His hands automatically went to the other boy's forehead to check if he has a fever of something.

The brunet flinched at the sudden contact, exclaiming _"I'm fine!"_ that suspiciously sounded like a squeal.

_"You're hot." _ he replied in an as-matter-of-factly tone, still looking at the blushing boy.

_"I'm fine, really! I was just.. It's just getting too hot in here!"_ Eren shot back as he averted his gaze from the other, wiping at the sweat that was forming on his forehead.

_"Really." _

"..."

The brunet wanted to say something but decided against it for he may spill everything and end up being such a creeper. _Great._ "_Levi looked somewhat amused though.. What the hell would he do if he actually caught him?"_ As far as this day has become, he wouldn't be so shocked if he went crazy by the end of it.

Levi knew the other was lying between his teeth about something but he did not push on the topic too much. It was really amusing to see the other boy blush and blabber excuses like that though. Tormenting him a little was some kind of guilty pleasure for him, and he sometimes felt guilty about it, but Eren is just too damned adorable for his own good. It makes him want to be a little mischievous when he acts like this, and he would actually wonder what he would do to him so he would spill it. Well. He guessed it will never happen. He saw that the other boy seemed to have finally calmed his senses as he sat back next to him again.

_I guess I should tell him right now or never._

Levi has been waiting for a right moment the whole day to tell the other boy what he needed to say. He himself wants to avoid the topic so badly, but he could at least be formal about it. He hated this kind of conversations for he doesn't know where to start, and how to finish it. He looked at the boy beside him, at his face, his hair, his tan skin, and his big, bright green eyes, seemingly trying to memorize everything about him.

_ "Eren. I want to tell you something."_

Getting the other's attention, Levi went on.

_"My father is sending me to Military School. I'm leaving next month."_

Eren looked at him blankly, seeming to not be processing what he just heard.

_Did he just say that he was leaving?_ His thought raced and he felt like he's gonna choke with his own tongue when he asked,_ "You'll what?!"_ as if he misheard him.

The other boy sighed deeply as he repeated himself, _"I'm going to Military School at Rose, in Siganshina Military School. My father has already enrolled me for the advanced classes."_

The brunet felt like he just got stabbed at his chest as he heard what the other boy has said. He can't be serious, can't he? _Is this some kind of joke? _he thought as he continued to stare at the boy beside him with his mouth open.

_"You're not even gonna finish the school year?! _

_"No."_

_"Are you serious?!" _

_"…"_

_"But why?"_

_"You're just twelve!"_

_"…"_

_"Is this even your own decision?"_

_"Are you really sure about this?"_

_"Why so sudden?"_

_"…"_

He didn't answer him anymore.

.

_"Levi." _

He called for him and the words seemed to have died in his throat.

..

.

* * *

_"Mom." Please let's talk!_

_"No. Eren, we already had this conversation a thousand times already."_

_"But mom! Listen to me!"_

_"No, Eren, you are not going to Military School and its final. If you really want to join the military you're gonna finish your schooling here."_ Carla paused as she gave her son hard stare.

_"Three more years."  
_

_"But mom! I can't! Please.. just__—_"

_"Eren, I'm going to talk about this with your dad and maybe the can put some sense to you. Do you even realize how dangerous being a soldier is?!"_

Carla placed her hands at her temples as she fought against the headache that was forming in her head. She thought about the conversation she just had with Eren this morning and she tried to stop sighing for the hundredth time. She cannot seem to get to the boys head no matter what. He can really be stubborn when he wanted to. But what she cannot understand is why he decided to join the military all of a sudden.

_Was it because of Levi?_ Eren had told her that he was leaving for Military School. But his case was different for his father actually wanted his son to become a soldier. The last thing she ever wanted for his Eren was to run to his death by joining the Legion and going to war and who-knows-what. Maybe his sister and his father can talk him out of it. They need to get through his hard head. She guessed that she'll have Mikasa move in. She knew his son has a soft-spot for her and he will not leave her alone. She was like a daughter to her and she loved her very much. And she knows the Eren does too.

* * *

..

.

_"Three more years."_

_._

It felt like he was having a nightmare while he was awake. His green eyes stared at the ceiling as he waited for sleep to come in. He felt so lost about everything that was happening. He doesn't even know why it should affect him in that kind of way. He cannot explain why he wanted to tell him or even beg him to stay. He shouldn't be feeling those things but he did and it makes him want to get smacked hard in his head.

_Yes, that sounded more right_. It's not weird, and it is definitely not _crazy. _As crazy as the thoughts that he had been pushing at the back of his mind all night. It was those kinds of thoughts that muddle his brain and stop all his thinking process. It was the thought of his haunting face, his warm touch, his smell. It was the weight of his piercing blue gaze and the soft lips that he wanted to taste against his mouth. It floods his senses and it drives him over the edge.

Everything else ceased to exist but _him_, and all he can think of is that fleeting moment when he felt _he _was his, again and again and again.

Sleep did not come.

.

_"Five more days and he's gone."_

.

.

He did not come to class anymore on his last week before leaving to Rose. Eren had already lost all his hope of having a glimpse of him just for the last time. It made him feel sick in his guts and he has not been himself for the whole week, being so quiet and gloomy. He felt lost. Everybody has taken a notice of it already but they did make a move to ask about it. Everybody knew, and they understood.

..

.

No words were spoken for it cannot change anything.


	4. The unheard

**minor edit***  
**

* * *

.

_"So, since when did I become a piano teacher?"_ Irvin asked as he chuckled at the amusing thought.

_"I didn't know what to say to say to someone that just came out of nowhere."_ The blue-eyed boy replied. His ears were pink.

_"So I guess that you pretty much lied to him about everything."_

_"He doesn't need to know anything."_ the boy said, an unreadable expression crossing his face.

_"But you cannot deny the fact that you actually became quite.. fond of him."_ The blond man said with a smile.

_"…." _

He cannot make himself answer. _He's got him. _The raven haired boy fought the urge to glare at man in front of him.

The blond man just laughed softly.

.

Levi actually entertained the thought of just having a simple life that a typical boy of his age would have. Ordinary things like going to school, fooling around, day-dreaming about nothing important, sneaking off classes, having _friends_. But who was he kidding? He knew from the start that nothing was ordinary about his life. And the last thing he ever wanted to do is to get attached to something, or even, someone.

.

Irvin Smith was no musician, not even a piano teacher to the slightest; he doesn't even like musical instruments at all. He has been entrusted though of taking Levi under his wing by the boy's father, his friend. It is something he needed to do, at least to return the favour to the man that helped him so much back into those days that needed someone to depend on. It is a favour that he would gladly return for he knew the moment he saw the boy, he has what it takes. For with his kind of profession, weakness is not an option. He needed to be strong as his job served a greater purpose. He may not change anything nor make an impact to humanity, but at least he does not just stop and take a look and complain about everything in the future.

.

He has been training him hand-to-hand combat skills since he was eight, spending hours upon tiring hours of practicing skills that the blond man wants him to perfect, or more specifically, memorized by his body. He says that giving an automatic response to specific situations is the key, eliminating the time for his brain to even think. It sounded so robotic and precise but he trusted this man. Idolized him, even, for he was strong, cunning and collected. He thought him everything from the basics, to advanced military training. Everything else about his life became secondary.

This is what he needed to do, intended to do, destined to do, and he better not screw up. For if he fails, there would be nothing else to turn back into. He would only know how to be a soldier, how to fight, how to survive and die for duty. Nothing more, nothing less.

* * *

.

He stared at his arm in the dim light of the single lamp that illuminated his room. A year had already passed and many things had happened but it all blurs as the thought of that night came to his mind. He could still feel the pain as teeth sunk to his flesh, trying to bite a chunk of muscle off his bone. He shuddered at the thought and tried to fight the wave of nausea that hit him instantly. He automatically pushed it at the back of his mind, to be forgotten in oblivion.

_The scars were almost invisible now. _

He wondered how it was possible; almost leaving no trace of the incident that sent him nightmares when he sleeps. He remembered what Irvin had told him the day he arrived at Siganshina, and he can't help but feel the heavy mass at the pit of his stomach.

_"Are there other instances in Trost, aside from her?"_ the blond man asked almost sympathetically but seriously. He stared at him across the table, his blue eyes unblinking.

_"Nothing that I heard of."_ His voice gave nothing away.

The blond man rose from his chair and walked to the window of the massive military fortress. He seemed to contemplate about something and finally decided on it.

_"The situation in Maria has gotten worse. The number of incidents had risen up to an alarming level already. There seems to be an outbreak. Sooner or later they might spread even further here, at Rose." _

_"Remote places like Trost are still untouched but I don't know for how long."_

The blond man's statement seemed to stab him at the back. The face of a green eyed boy flashed in his mind and he can't help feeling the guilt that suffocated him.

* * *

.

.

After her mother had passed away, Levi knew that things are not what he thought they would be. For there was a bigger picture behind of it all and it frightened him greatly. Yes, he was scared for he realized that he does not know anything at all, until that moment.

_"Levi."_ The blond man started.

_"I know this is quite sudden but you need to know what's really happening. What I'm about to tell you will greatly affect your decision to come with me to Rose."_ He searched for the boy's eyes for confirmation as he continued.

_"There is an epidemic across the country. People are dying and everyone is living in fear. The victims.. they became unstable and wild. They lose recognition and what they only want to do is feed." _

The blond man hesitated for a moment.

_._

_"On humans. "_

.

The boy's eyes became wide for he knew. His heart raced for he cannot believe was he was hearing. His mother's fierce eyes and bloodied jaw filled every corner of his mind.

_"At first they become ill and feverish, something that you will not ordinarily worry about. But then there will be a sudden change in behaviour and.. memory loss. They will fall into a limbo until they snap out it, becoming something that is entirely different, and definitely not human. They'll become frighteningly strong and will start on feeding at a human in sight. "_

_"There is no known cure yet."_

He paused as he looked at the boy's shocked face. It is inevitable but he deserves the truth. He mustered some inner strength and placed and firm hand to the boy's shoulder.

.

_"And you will have no other choice, but to kill it."_

.

.

* * *

.

_"What do you want to do, Irvin?" _

The blond man turned towards him, his eyes dark. _"I will be leading the Scouting Legion. The King already gave the permission. This will not be an ordinary task, so I'm going to ask you now."_

_"I thought I've already given you my answer."_ The boy interjected.

_"If you join the Military police, you'll be safer." _

If there is something that the blue eyed boy hates the most, its filth. Whether it's the literal thing or those people that he categorizes as scum, it didn't matter, for he wanted to eliminate them both. Even in the short time that he has been staying at Rose, he already knew what type of people runs the government. Those greedy, fat, people repulse him as much as he repulsed those people in the military that will lick their boots even without second thought. _All for the name of money and power._

_"Irvin, I only want to serve people, not pigs."_

_"Just like what I've thought."_ The blond man said with a ghost of a smirk in his face.

Levi considerably has changed for the past year, and Irvin cannot believe how strong he had gotten, not only physically but mentally and emotionally as well. He does not seem to be the gentle boy that he was before. His straightforward behavior seemed to have intensified tenfold and his well-guarded face showed no emotion. He only focused on his tasks every single day and showed no interest about anything other than his training. He was doing well, and he will be prepared in no time.

_._

_"Well then, you know the rules."_

_"You'll join my personal squad. "_

_._

_"Welcome to the Scouting Legion."_

* * *

.

.

It has been months and Eren had stopped counting already. Aside from his adoptive sister, Armin has become a constant figure by his side now. They are just neighbors actually, but he only had the chance to get to know him after Levi had left. He was really nice to him even though he became such an annoying brat like what his sister says. He knows he was being such a pain in the ass for everybody, and he cannot deny it. He frequently gets into fights because he loses his cool more than usual. But it was wrong, and he knew that he needed to do something to get back to his normal self.

_"Yo Eren! I still can't believe that you settled for a pussy." _the white haired boy said in an annoyed tone.

_"What the fuck did you just say?"_

He was really trying, but sometimes Eren felt that he just wanted to let his frustrations out and beat the crap out of someone, like Jean.

_"What now? Have you also gone deaf or something? I was just saying that Levi is all cool and stuff, and I cannot fathom why you are now with this pussy."_ Jean said as he accusingly pointed a finger at Armin.

_"For a jerk, you sure got some nerve, Jean."_ the green eyed boy hissed between his gritted teeth.

Armin already knows where this is going.

Eren angrily rose from his seat but was suddenly grabbed in the arm by the blond kid. He wanted to punch that bastard in the face.

_"Hey Eren, stop. Don't mind him. Let's just go out with Mikasa, okay?"_ the blond boy said as he dragged the fuming brunet out of Jean's sight.

_"Yeah, yeah! Your running away again with your girlfriend, Jaeger?!"_ Jean said as he taunted him in the distance.

.

* * *

.

The day was finally over and Eren half-dragged himself to his bed. It was almost supper but he did not feel like eating. He feels mentally exhausted and just wanted to go to sleep. He was about to close his eyes when Mikasa called outside the door.

_"Eren. Can I come in?"_

The boy let out a sigh and a lifeless _"Yeah."_

The door creaked open and his sister walked straight to his bed where he was lying. She sat at the edge of the bed as her grey eyes fell to his face. Her expression was unreadable.

_"You've got a mail."_

_"Hn?"_ it was all the boy can manage for he was a little confused at the moment.

Seeing that the boy didn't even budge, the brunette briskly stood up.

_"I'll just leave it here,"_ the girl said as he placed the letter to his bedside drawer.

_"Come down for dinner, Mom's gonna get angry."_ and with that, she left the room leaving him in peace.

He shot a glance at the letter on his side and reach for it hesitantly. _Who would send him a letter anyway?_ His mind was too hazy to think at the moment. He flipped it and looked at the address where it was written, but it only showed his.

He tore the side of the envelope gently, and pulled the letter inside.

His eyes went wide and sleep flew out the window.

.

.

_Eren,_

_._

_I hope you are doing fine. _

_I wrote to you because I wanted to say sorry. I've lied to you about many things but it was never my intention to hurt you. If I did so, I apologize. I left in haste for time is of great importance for everyone._

_Please take care of yourself and your family. I hope the time will not come that you will be needing help of the military. Things are not the way they used to be._

_Stay safe._

_._

_-Levi._

.

_He wrote to him. _He thought dumbly_. He looked at the neatly written letter again._

Good thing the return address was written at the back of the paper.

About an hour later, Eren wanted to pull his hair out already. He surely could not reply to his letter with a message that consists of five pages considering that what he received can't even be categorized as a letter but more likely, a note. He grunted in frustration as he willed himself to not blabber in his reply. _Just make it short and sweet Jaeger, _Eren thought as he scribbled his reply for the seventh time.

.

_Levi,_

_._

_How are you doing? Everything is fine back here in Trost though some people are spreading scary rumours about some plague or something. _

_School has never been so boring! Good thing that Armin and Mikasa keep me company. You know them right? My sister and that blond kid, he sure was unbelievably intelligent by the way!_

_I hope you are also doing great there. I hope nobody's bullying you or something! _

_Hope you keep me posted._

_Take care._

_._

_-Eren_

.

He contemplated whether to write or not_ "I miss you by the way, or I really fucking miss you " _before ending his reply but dang it, he'll probably never be able to send his reply to him if he'll write that down. _That's just plain creepy if he would read that._ He thought glumly. Nevertheless, hearing about him made him happier than he was for almost a year and a half now.

_At least, he remembered me._

* * *

.

.

His mother died and their house was sold. His father totally dumped him to Irvin like he was extra luggage. Who know where his father was right now? _Irvin probably. _Levi really wanted to write to Eren but he didn't know what to say. He tried to dismiss the nagging feeling in his gut but he was getting a little worried already. He really hoped he was fine and just forgets about him entirely. _Sure, after he reads your letter, he'll completely forget, _he thought sarcastically_. _

_"Tch."_

_"Dammit Eren._"

He plopped to his bed as he mentally debated to send or not to send that letter.

How foolish he was, to really get attached to him. It will be a big, fat lie if he'll say that he does not miss the other's presence. How he's gotten this feeling towards the other was unknown to him. All he knew is that he cannot get him out of his mind. Even cleaning does not do the trick.

He closed his eyes as he tried to recall his warm smile, his green eyes, his laughter, his face. His warmth whenever he leans to him when he falls asleep, and how close he was for him to touch.

He will not be able to sleep tonight.

.

_"Damn."_


	5. whisper

**Author's Nonsense: ugh. First of all I would like to thank all my readers, my reviewers and all those who are following this story. (: Thank you for enduring my writing this far. **  
**This chapter really frustrated the heck out of me and I chopped it in half (I guess) for it's really, really long to put in a single chapter. I apologize if there is still no progress between Eren and Levi in this chapter but I will give you cookies in next chapters to come. *cries* I never, well I knew that writing is really difficult that is why I've never really written anything in my life in the first place. Please don't hate my sorry excuse for a plot for I needed it to highlight the other characters. Thank you!**

* * *

.

The bells resounded all across the district.

Armin and the other students peeked outside the school window to look at the squads of Military Police that roamed around town.

_"Hey Eren. Look at them! Aren't they cool or what?"_ Jean said as his eyes gleamed in sheer admiration.

_"I swear after this school year I'm gonna join the Military Police."_

The green eyed boy just stared below and he can't help but wonder what's happening. The morning has been quite weird today seeing all those soldiers and hearing the towns' bells ringing for about ten minutes now. It gives him an eerie feeling.

_"I wonder what's happening Armin."_ He finally voiced out, still looking outside.

_"Maybe it's just a drill or something."_ The blue-eyed blond replied as he craned his neck to get a better view.

_"Let's go out."_ Eren said, a smile breaking from his face.

_"We can't just leave school." _The blond boy replied with a frown, clearly not in favour of the idea.

_"Nobody will notice. They're too busy making a fuss about everything."_ The brunet replied as he tried to convince the blonde once more.

_"Okay. But let's do this quickly. I don't want us to get caught.. by Mikasa."_

They snuck off the school yard climbing the wall and landing to the main street leading to the town plaza. The Police still lingered amongst themselves, and no immediate threat seemed to be present. Maybe it was a drill after all. They watched them at a distance and the brunet was almost tempted to talk to one of them when he saw a soldier that is definitely not from the Police.

_"Hey Armin, have you seen one of those before?"_ the brunet asked as he pointed at its direction.

The blonde boy's eyes widened in recognition as he excitedly answered his question.

_"Eren, that's the Scouting Legion's uniform!_ _They travel all across the country doing research and stuff."_

_"Scouting Legion? I never heard of them before. How did you even know about them?" _the brunet asked dismissively turning towards the blonde. His eyes were shimmering now.

"_Yes._ _They say only the strongest soldiers are accepted_._ If I could only join them, I might be able to explore the world."_

_"Explore the world.." _It was actually a nice thought. Maybe he would also do the same in another lifetime, but not now.

He looked once more at the soldiers back, his green cape draped around his shoulders. It has the symbol of a pair of wings that stood out amongst everything. It's as if you could almost fly just by wearing it.

_"Fly."_

.

_"All is clear, squad leader." _Gunther reported as he run to the blond man's side.

_"Good. If everything is fine we can leave at the afternoon."_

A woman appeared with her horse to accompany them, her glasses shining brightly in the morning sun.

_"Hey Mike! How is it going here? My squad is almost finished surveying this area." _

_"Nothing unusual here."_ he replied, looking contented.

_"That's good! It means we can now send these fliers out to find new recruits."_ The spectacled woman said happily, producing a stack of fliers out of nowhere.

_"Ever so excited aren't we?"_

_"Of course." _Her grin turned devious.

_"Alright. Everyone's dismissed. We shall all meet here at the afternoon."_

.

.

_"They went to Trost?"_ the raven haired boy asked.

_"Yes. They will survey the area for potential threats."_ The blonde commander replied, his eyes not leaving his desk.

_"Why didn't you tell me?"_

He looked up to the boy, his face serious.

_"You don't need any more distractions. You just need to focus on graduating. And I'll just do what I think is good for you."_

The boy felt somewhat angry but he knew he was right. He respects his decisions for he has become some sort of a fatherly figure to him. He knew what is good for him. And he did not want to disappoint the man. But his inner turmoil is eating him away slowly despite all his efforts to put everything aside. The luggage felt heavier now. And even without distractions, he surely cannot focus in anything.

_Maybe he started noticing. _

_"I will give you all the time you will need to visit her after you're finished. I cannot and will not take over your life. Everything will still be your decision in the end. Do not forget that, Levi."_

He had not answered him anymore and left his office silently.

The blond man sighed as he turned his chair towards the window. The boy was distracted and he looked a little weary. He seemed to be troubled about many things but he'll surely deny it if he'll ask. Boys of his age will get burned with their own emotions and are reckless without guidance. He was actually doing everything to keep the boy busy so he could at least forget and get his mind off of things. He was doing really well at first but he guessed everything is getting a bit too much for him to take.

_It won't be good for him to start breaking down now._

He can't deny though that he feels bad for everything that has happened to him for he did not deserve any of it. He was still young and he has the world ahead of him. He can only help him in his little own way and he hoped he will suffice.

He, after all, cannot replace his family.

* * *

.

Another year and a half passed and Eren was glad that he survived school. But what's more difficult was the feeling of waiting for something that surely would not come. He hated the feeling more than anything, and he actually once thought to just let it all go and move on with his life. All the letters he sent flew like a bird but the replies faded like the wind until there was no more.

He didn't know but he still felt that he still, should go. He really hoped that his parents would not make it any more difficult for him and just give him his part of their deal. He studied hard enough, endured long enough and waited long enough already.

_"Eren, are you really sure about this? You can still change your mind."_ Carla said as tears welled in her eyes.

_"Mom, I've never been this sure." _

_"Mother, don't worry. I'll keep an eye on him."_ the brunet girl suddenly interjected.

The boy whipped his head on her direction at lightning speed.

_"You'll what? No! I told you already! You're not coming with me Mikasa. Why aren't you listening to me?"_

_"Shut up. Who knows what kind of troubles you'll get into? Besides I don't want Mom to get worried."_

_"She'll worry even more if you'll come with me!"_ the brunet almost screeched at her. She seemed unfazed though.

_"Mom already agreed. You don't have a choice."_ The girl replied with finality in her tone.

The boy wanted to throw his hands in the air in utter frustration. He just grunted instead as he gave in for he knew he can't win.

_"Yeah, yeah. Whatever Mikasa. But just.. don't meddle about my personal stuff."_

The girl just smirked in response.

_"Great."_

.

.

_"Armin. You're going too?"_ he said in an unbelieving tone.

_"Of course! I thought I already told you Eren. I want to explore the world! If I could just be strong enough.."_ the blond boy seemed to get lost in his thoughts as he trailed off, dreamy eyes staring at the ferry in the distance.

_"Now this is getting really interesting." _The brunet thought for he was actually beginning to feel happy about his decision and that he has a family and a friend around. He suddenly jolted as he heard a voice calling to them from behind. Annoyance showed in his face as he tried to ignore him.

_"Yo Eren! I can't believe you really have the guts to join the Military."_ Jean said mockingly as he approached them. His gaze fell on the blond kid beside the brunet, and feigned a shocked face.

_"Don't tell me you're also joining! Unbelievable."_

He turned towards the girl next and gave her a sly grin.

_"And you too, Mikasa? Well.."_

_"How about you join my company? I'll guarantee your safety." _

_"Thank you, but I don't need your assistance."_ She merely glanced at him as she replied. She just turned towards the green eyed boy again, clutching his arm, and dragging him to the direction of the ferry.

_"Let's go now Eren, Armin."_

The white haired boy seemed to be petrified in place as he looked at their retreating backs.

_"Like hell will I give up! Mikasa! Wait!" _

.

* * *

.

It has been a week since they arrived at Siganshina Military School. The first few days are definitely hell as superior officers' yelled obscenities at them at the top of their lungs. His muscles ached as they made them run in laps until they break. Not to mention that the food they serve tastes like paper. It was purely exhausting. Studying Military tactics is a breath of fresh air though. And the following weeks will be the start of hand to hand combat training and it seemed promising. If they pass, they will be trained for sword handling. Then it will be adept training. And finally, what they call the 3D-manuever training. Despite his aching muscles, Eren sure was excited.

He thought about Levi as he rested his weary bones in his not so comfortable bunk. Since he got here, he has never seen even a trace of him. He's been itching to ask someone about him but he didn't know who to ask nor approach. He let out a sigh as he thought about something better to do instead. He just ended up getting a little annoyed though as he thought how Mikasa seemed to be doing well in everything. _Well, she excels at everything in school, so there's actually nothing surprising about that. _But what really gets to him was Jean's constant presence around her, even though what he receives in return are just.. well.. constant death glares. It was really entertaining to watch how his sister torments the poor boy. A smile broke to his face as he wondered what will actually make him give up.

.

.

It has just been a week and he was feeling tired from their expedition to the highlands. The barren land seemed to be unoccupied for some time already and he knew it was too late. No more humans live there. And no information was gathered. As depressing as it was, he just wanted to sleep the whole day and forget about the failed mission. They will not make any progress at this rate.

He is passing the hall leading to his room when he heard the harsh and sharp scream of commands that was surely directed to the Military's new victims. He peered outside the window and saw the new recruits that filled the parade ground. _There are actually plenty of them this year_, he thought idly. He wondered what made them decide to join but dismissed the thought. He turned to leave but did a double take as his eyes caught something. He strained his eyes from where he was, scrutinizing his subject from the distance. His eyes widened a little as he saw a hint of green and dark brown hair.

.

_"You've got to be kidding me."_

.

He can't believe what he just saw. He was now at his room, pacing in circles for around five minutes already. Maybe he's just mistaken and is just seeing things. Eren has never shown interest in joining the Military so why will he be here? Right, he thought. He's seeing things now. He guessed thinking about the other too much caused his brain some damage.

He finally sat down to his bed placing his hand on his face. He felt like he's gonna have a headache soon. He'll just think about it later or maybe not at all. But what if it's really him? He doesn't know what to do. Maybe he'll just avoid him entirely?

He lied to his stomach and let out a groan.

Sleep.

Now.

.

* * *

.

Eren sat down the table along with the others for breakfast the next morning. It will be another grueling day as always. He noticed that the crowd was particularly noisy and asked what it was all about.

_"What's with all the fuss?"_ he asked Armin.

_"The Scouting Legion is back from their expedition is what I've heard."_

_"Oh."_

_Nothing really interesting there._

He began to eat his meal in silence as he listened to the crowd's idle chatter.

_"Yeah, and did you know? They have the youngest soldier ever." _ A girl with auburn hair said and was gesturing with a piece of bread in her hand.

_"I heard he was an exceptional find by the commander." _another girl chimed in. She had a blond hair like Armin's.

_"And he's been training him exclusively. At the age of fifteen he already graduated top in his class. There is also a rumour that he's got promoted already or something."_

_"Impossible."_ the brunet girl choked as she tried to talk while eating.

_"Hey Sasha! You okay?"_

He tuned them off as he wondered about what he heard. _Recruits begin training mostly by the age of fifthteen._ But that boy has already finished. He must be really good if he graduated on top considering he was the youngest in class. If anything, it made him feel somewhat disheartened. _He must have really liked what he's been doing. _He wondered what motivates that person to be the best. For he himself won't still be able to give a straight answer if asked why he was here, for reason other than _him_ seems to defy him. But maybe that reason was enough. Or maybe he was just really being stubborn. But he already spent three years of his life waiting to be here.

.

.

They just finished endurance training under the burning heat of the sun and the brunet felt like he's going to collapse at any moment. It was like he's being cooked slowly and his skin was hot. He wanted to have a shower so badly for his clothes stuck to his skin uncomfortably. He still has about an hour and a half to spare and maybe he can squeeze a nap after lunch.

After scrubbing and drying himself clean, he now strolled at the hallway with renewed energy. He was on his way to the Lunchroom when he stopped in his tracks as he heard someone call him.

_"Hey there! Yes, you! Can you give a hand here kid?"_ a red-headed girl asked him. She sported thick glasses and a toothy smile is plastered in her face. He had a feeling that he had seen her somewhere before.

_"Uhm. Sure."_

_"What's your name kid? New recruit?"_

_"Yes. I'm Eren."_

_"Nice to meet you Eren, I'm Hanji by the way."_ She took his hand and shook it excitedly.

_"Now Eren, if you could be so kind and help me bring this to Captain, I'll be so grateful." _She gave him a sweet smile.

_"Sure. What is it?"_

The red haired woman produced a stack of papers and dumped it to his hands. Her eyes twinkled.

_"This all needs to be signed. Just turn left to the next hallway and you'll see the Captain's Office near the end of the hall. You won't miss it!"_

_"Oh. Okay."_

_"Thank you Eren!"_ She happily chirped as she turned away very quickly, whistling to herself as she walked away.

_"Wait! Ms. Hanji. What's his name?" _

All he heard was whistling at the distance.

_"Great."_

.

The green eyed boy turned his head sideways as he read the labels amongst each room in the hallway. The doors all looked alike except from the fancy tags that suggested the room's occupant. _The room near the end, _he reminded himself. Finding it, he walked slowly towards its direction and stopped uncertainly in his tracks.

He felt like he was nine again as he heard a sound coming from one of the rooms in his right, opposite to where he was headed.

It was the soft sound of a melody being played in a piano. It was a gentle tone that reminded him of something that he found a long time ago, something that he would have liked to keep but cannot own. Something that made him go all the way to get here. It's a little far-fetched and he might end up making a fool of himself but he can't calm his now pounding heart.

_"I'll just take a look"._

He reached for the door as he balanced the stack of papers on his other arm.

_Click._

_He's gonna open it just a little so he can take a peek inside. _

The playing stopped.

.

.

It was a peaceful afternoon and Levi just wanted to spend some time alone. It has been ages since he last played a piano and he was glad to find out that the Military owns one. He tested the keys at first, running his fingers across the keys, listening for flaws. As he found none, he started playing a melody and immersed himself at the comforting sound. He just wanted to forget everything, even for a short while.

But what seemed to be a peaceful afternoon will be ruined as he heard the door click behind him.

_ I. just. started_.

He was totally annoyed for whoever that person was has got some nerve to not even knock. "_Talk about manners." _He thought, irritated by the intrusion. _Maybe it was Hanji again._ He stopped his playing as he tried to not lose his cool. He sighed deeply and collected himself before acknowledging the person behind the door.

_._

_._

_"May I help you?"_

He almost dropped the stack of papers as he heard the faint but smooth voice coming from inside the room.

Well. He's been caught. _Shit. _How the hell did he hear him?

_"I.. Uhm.. I'm just here to.." _The brunet rummaged his mind as he thought of something believable.

What the hell's he's going to say? _I'm just here to take a peep?_ May he should run for it now.

_"Don't just stand there. Come in." _

_He sounded a little impatient now. Great. Just great. He doesn't know what to expect once he comes inside. Maybe he'll tell him that he's got lost or something? What if it's a high ranking officer__—"_

His thoughts continued as he pushed the door open and for the second time that day, he almost dropped the stack of papers he was holding.

_"Well what do you wan__—_t" he stopped at his words as he turned to look at his offending visitor. He thought he's going to have a heart attack.

Words seemed to elude him and all he was able to say was his name.

.

_"Eren."_

.

The brunet placed the documents on the table as the other gestured for him to come closer. His mind turned to goo and all he can manage is a blush as he fidgeted before the other.

The raven haired boy motioned his finger beside him.

_"Sit."_

They sat in awkward silence as no one dared to talk at the moment. The atmosphere was suffocating and the raven haired boy did what he thought could save him from this utter mess.

He played the piano, more gently now, to at least calm his own raging nerves. The boy beside him was still red and he just stared at his hands as he fiddled them.

After what seemed like hours, he felt the other boy lean to him, just like he always did when they were kids.

_He was still the same._

It made him feel comfortable, and he mustered some inner strength to ask the brunet a question he never wanted to ask.

_"Eren, did you hate me?"_

Levi felt his gut twist as the answer did not come. He did not seem to want to answer it entirely. It made him feel worse but maybe he really got upset because he tried to avoid him like a plague. He was about to face him again when the brunet's head rested on his shoulder.

_His_ eyes were now closed and sadness was etched in his face. He began to open his mouth and his voice was a mere whisper.

.

.

_"I thought I'll never see you again."_

.

.


	6. You

**This is the other half of the chapter that I posted the last time.. I hope you like this one even though I thought I'm gonna have a brain hemorrhage writing the last paragraphs. XD.**

**As always, I want to thank all those the are reviewing this, and to those that are patiently following until now. I hope I would actually be able to finish this fic. _ if you think this chap is a little awful.. I actually didn't want to include the last part but.. I was tempted.**

* * *

.

They didn't pretty much talk and he sent Eren out to take his lunch already. He just instructed him to leave the documents to him and focus on his day ahead. The brunet didn't make any fuss about it. He was annoyed that Hanji always dumps her work to anyone she comes across with but today will be an exception. He was happy even if he wasn't at all prepared to see who's behind that door.

He has surely grown tall since the last time he saw him. If possible, he has become more tanned than ever. But his green eyes were still the same, bright and alive.

_And he still blushes like a girl_.

_Maybe this isn't bad at all._ He'll just go crazy either way anyway, so he'll just better go crazy while he's around. At least he wouldn't have to just imagine his face anymore.

.

.

Eren spent the afternoon drifting in and out of Military tactics class. He cannot seem to take his mind off the raven haired boy. He surely had grown more handsome the last time he saw him. He still dressed as neatly as ever and he still wore a cravat around his pale neck. His blue eyes were still intense.

_And he still smelled and felt the same. _

_Damn._

He's gonna get his ass served to him if his professor caught him daydreaming in his class.

Mikasa tried to keep herself from kicking the brunet under the table. He's been acting quite weirdly since lunch, getting lost at his own thoughts. Now he's not even paying attention in class. If he doesn't stop already, she'll really kick his butt.

The boy seemed to snap out of it though, suddenly feeling the glare that is boring a hole in his head.

.

.

The day cannot seem to end and all the new recruits were now gathered at the parade ground. An announcement was made as they are all summoned to hear what the higher ups are about to say. They stood in attention as they waited for it to start.

A balding man appeared accompanied by two officers from the Military Police. He was about the age of fifty, Eren thought. They unanimously gave him a salute to the heart as the man stood before them.

.

_"Good evening, lads. I am General Pixis, and I have a little announcement to make."_ He said, flashing them a disarming smile.

_"I went here personally to see your faces." _He continued, as he gave them a pointed look.

.

_"First of all, if you haven't known already, only the top ten that will graduate from this batch will be given the opportunity to choose what division of the Military they wanted to join."_

_._

_"Will you serve your King?" "Or will you serve your people?"_

_._

_"The choice is up to you."_

_"The rest will be divided accordingly, and the Division Commanders will be the ones to choose who joins who."_

He paused as he let the words sink in. His pleased expression shifted to seriousness.

.

_"Secondly, after finishing your Military tactics training, every one of you will surely realize the weight that this profession carries for what you will be learning from that time on will be entirely.. different."_

_"If anything, it will help you decide if you will still pursue being a soldier or being with your family."_

The crowd seemed to grow uneasy as they heard those words. Faint whispers can be heard as they cannot contain the curiosity to themselves.

.

_"Third and last.. and the most important of all."_

_"If all of you will decide to stay, do your best."_

_._

_._

_"And don't die."_

_._

* * *

.

He still hasn't seen the raven haired boy for the next three days. And the massive expanse of the Military building is not helping at all. Too large, too many rooms. It's like finding a needle in a haystack. He thought that he might be able to find him at the music room again, but it's always empty as of late.

They were once again in the parade ground standing in attention for the morning ceremony. But today they are allowed to stay for some time before training starts. They said that the Scouting Legion will be leaving for another expedition today, and they can take a look, or even, talk to them.

_"Here they come!"_ someone shouted at a distance.

Everyone's excited faces turned to the direction of the large squad, eyes flying from one soldier to another.

Eren has got his second shock for the week as he saw familiar faces as they ride their horses to the gates of Siganshina.

.

_"Irvin."_ He thought, dumfounded. Isn't he Levi's guardian or something? Or even his piano teacher?

And to his right, was none other than Levi. He thought he also saw Petra there too.

_"Eren, if you don't close your mouth, a fly might get caught in there."_ He was pulled from his current state of shock by Mikasa's remark. He just rolled his eyes at her direction.

He can't believe it. _So Irvin is from the military as well? _He looked like a high ranking official for he strode in front of everybody else. Levi followed close behind him, looking nowhere but straight ahead.

_"Ahhh. It's such a good morning today right, Young Captain?"_ It was Hanji's familiar voice. She brought her horse close to where Levi was, to Eren's bewilderment.

_"Young Captain?"_ The brunet repeated, eyes widening. _Don't' tell me… _

Levi didn't pay her much attention as she continued to babble beside him.

_"Ever so grumpy!"_ she said, poking the boy's cheeks with her finger as she cackled happily away.

The boy glared at her in response, ignoring her once more. He looked towards the blond man instead.

.

_"Commander."_

_._

Eren didn't know what's more shocking, Irvin being the commander of the Scouting Legion, or Levi being the _Captain._

.

.

* * *

.

Unbelievingly, he was granted permission to see the _Captain_ after the Legion came back from their last expedition. But of course, he has to answer a lot of questions from Hanji first. She seemed to enjoy learning about the two of them too much and she even promised that it will just be their secret.

Eren now sat in front of Levi's table, watching him do paperwork. Looking at how tall it was, it surely will take him a whole day to finish all of it.

.

_"Eren, you'll just bore yourself out here after three minutes."_ The raven haired boy said as he peered at him from his desk.

_"I just wanted to ask you something." _

He seemed unnaturally serious, and the raven haired boy felt a now familiar twist in his gut. He put his pen down, and looked at his green, green eyes.

_"Do we have a problem, Eren?"_

The brunet did not answer immediately for he was debating with himself up to this last minute to why he was here. But he wanted to see him, and he cannot contain his emotions anymore for the past few days. He thought to just let it go entirely, for it held no importance. But was it really unimportant? Then why does he have to feel this way? Where does it leave him now? He surely didn't know where he stands anymore.

He returned his intense blue gaze and answered softly.

.

_"So what part of you is not a lie?"_ he tried, but his shaky voice gave him away.

.

The raven haired boy felt like he was hit by a rock, crushing him underneath.

He should have known this coming, but he didn't. His mind was too occupied with his duties, with the Legion, with _him_. He can feel _his_ anger now from where he sat, and he just wanted for it all to stop.

.

_"It seems like I really don't know anything about you, Levi."_

_"Is our.. friendship even true? Or did you just need someone to distract you while you wait?!"_

_._

He was fisting at his pants and the brunet knew that this isn't going anywhere. Why he was making a big deal out of this, he didn't know. But he wanted to hear what he's going to say. He wanted to get a reaction from his impassive face, he want to see him get angry, frustrated, anything, just anything. He wanted to even hurt him just like how he hurts right now.

But instead, all he heard was his audible sigh of frustration.

.

_"I am really sorry Eren, but no matter what I say now will not change anything." _

Or will it?

.

He still looked calm despite of it, his voice levelled as he talked slowly. But the brunet didn't know how difficult the situation was for him right now. Just seeing the anger in his green eyes is more than enough. He wasn't taught and he wasn't prepared to handle things of this sort. If only he can tell him how conflicted and frustrated he was with himself. He cannot think of anything else to say to make this even worse than it is now.

.

_"I know."_ The brunet suddenly replied, his voice close to a whisper.

.

He has lost. And he was right; he has to move on already. There is no point in arguing about things that were deemed to be unimportant to _him_. _This was really just a bad idea, a very immature and bad idea._ Everything he did felt plain stupid now and he just want to get out of here. But just even his mere voice made him stay.

_"I may have lied about everything, but one thing had always been true."_

The green eyed boy looked up to the other once more, and actually saw remorse in his face. If anything, he looked almost vulnerable, and it made his heart clench.

.

_"What is?" _he asked softly.

.

.

_"You."_

_._

He can't help but flush at what he just heard. His earlier feeling of anger is now replaced with utter self-consciousness. He cannot look at him at the moment and he felt like dying from embarrassment for the way he makes him _feel._ Just one word from him and he had turned into a blushing mess.

The atmosphere had lightened considerably and it made him feel better. Just one look at his face and he knew that he has forgiven him already. He felt like he really didn't deserve it all of a sudden, just like that, but telling him a little part of the truth actually made him felt a lot better. _Maybe, he can actually fix this._

Seeing the other's growing uneasiness, he stood from his seat and went to the brunet's side. His green eyes looked up to him, face still flushing, and mouth open. The raven haired boy placed his fingers beneath his chin and shut it.

He gave him a rare smile.

_"Want to go outside?"_

Levi didn't know how it was possible for the other to get even redder but it made him feel happy. _He had really missed him._

He received a very welcome nod in response.

..

.

Eren knew that he will be explaining a lot of things from the looks of it now. Just the amount of stares they are getting says it all. They are now in the Lunchroom together and he was sitting next to Levi that was now eating in silence. He doesn't know but he felt like everyone is talking about them right now, for those hushed whispers seemed suspicious enough. He looked to where Armin and Mikasa were seated. They don't look at them in awe like the others, but a mild confusion can be seen in there. Jean looked undeniably happy today as he was sitting right next to his sister. He also looks at them from time to time, but aside from his half-sister's piercing looks at him, everything felt fine.

He turned his gaze back to Levi and saw that he was finished already.

_"I don't know how you managed to eat the food here."_ He remarked automatically. He was used to the food here now, but it still doesn't change the fact that it tasted bad.

_"It's a little disgusting but you'll get used to it."_ The raven boy replied, wiping his mouth a handkerchief. He turned to face him now, to ask him question.

_"What's your schedule this afternoon?"_

_"Just Military Tactics class." _

_"I see.." _

_"Want to have a spar with me afterwards?"_

The brunet was taken aback by the sudden question, but the idea actually sounded interesting. At least maybe he can test what he learned so far.

_"Really? Are you sure about this?"_

_"Of course." _

A wide smile erupted from his face. _This will be fun._

_"Great."_

.

He started to regret his decision as soon as he landed in his ass for the first time that afternoon. It seemed like everything he knew in class until now is pretty much useless as he has been immobilized by Levi for at least ten times now, in a row. He was really quick and man, he can really kick some ass. And he can honestly say that he was _even holding back_. Damn.

_"Again."_

_"Wait.. just wait a—minute, I- just- need to – catch my breath__—_" was the brunet's chopped reply.

The raven haired boy crouched in front of him, and offered him his hand. Eren looked at it hesitantly, before he took it, grasping his hand a little too tightly. The other boy seemed a little confused but his expression shifted to shock as realized he was now the one being swiftly trapped in an arm lock. It happened because he actually let his guard down, and Eren took the chance while he was actually being concerned with the other. He is now the one facing the ground as the brunet straddled his back, keeping him in place.

_"Ha! Finally!"_ the brunet said triumphantly. Levi can see him smiling broadly. He grunted as he replied with fake annoyance.

_"Yeah. You've got me. Stop straddling me and get up now."_

_"You're heavy." _

The brunet only looked at him but he did move a little as he released his right hand and rolled him to his back. He still had the mischievous smile in his face as he still straddled his thighs. The blue eyed boy gave him a look of impatience as he crossed his arms in his chest.

The green eyed boy gave him a toothy smile in return.

_"Levi Heichou."_

Levi felt his eye twitch. He shot the brunet a mild glare.

_"Stop calling me that.. It sounds weird coming from you."_

_"But I think I like calling you Heichou." _

_"Say that again and I'll smack you in the head."_

_"Levvvviii…" _

_"Heichouuu.."_ Eren said slowly, dragging the words out of his mouth.

The raven haired boy now glared at him at full force as he reminded him to get off.

_"That's it Eren, get off. Now."_

_._

Instead of getting up, he did the complete opposite as he placed his hands to neither side of his face, trapping him totally.

His senses seemed to have heightened tenfold as it only focused on the boy that loomed above him. Everything became a blur except Eren, and all he knew was his sudden closeness as he leaned down to him and whispered to his ear, _"make me."_

He was petrified on the spot as his voice sent shivers down his spine. He cannot believe that Eren did what he just did. _Did he just tease him?_ He can feel the blush that was about to form in his face and willed for it to stop.

The green eyed boy lifted himself quickly away from Levi's ear as he let out a light-hearted laugh. He has been curious how the other would react. He felt a little uneasy though as he saw his still impassive face, but he doesn't look mad at all. He was maybe imagining it but he thought he saw a faint blush in his cheeks.

He came out of his ogling when he received a sudden flick in the forehead.

_"Ow." _

_"I told you to get up already." _

He almost pouted in response as he climbed off of him, unconsciously rubbing his forehead.

.

They said their goodbyes and they left to go to their own ways for the night. Levi is busy after all. Eren had a good day today and he was feeling more alive than he was for the past three years of his life. Things went unexpectedly better and he hopes it will stay the way it was from now on.

.

.

* * *

.

.

He is now in what seemed like a room by the dungeon, darkness creeping on every corner of the room. His heart began to race as he felt _his_ warm breath on his jaw, teasing him gently. He involuntarily squirmed as lips grazed below his ear and a warm tongue licked at his earlobe. But it was suddenly gone and he now saw a pair of piercing green eyes that shone brightly despite of the dark. It looked down to him and it was unnaturally _beautiful_. He felt his weight as other straddled him now, pulling at his cravat gently, slowly untying it from his neck. Warm fingertips unlace the buttons of his shirt, exposing his chest and body to the crisp air around them.

His breath got caught in his throat as his mouth landed against his neck, kissing and sucking his heated skin passionately. His hands held his waist in place as he continued to caress him with his mouth, travelling downwards to his chest, leaving goose bumps where he left. Shivers ran through his body as he spoke his name, smooth and sensual.

_"Levi."_

The green eyed boy gave him an otherworldly smile and his mind was reduced to a complete haze. He cannot seem to move as he let _his_ hands wander through his body, sending pleasure right through his groin. He was not able to contain his moan anymore as he finally closed his eyes and submit to his lustful needing. _His_ breath hovered over his mouth for second, and was gone by the next. His ghostly voice echoed once more.

_"You smell so good I want to devour you right now." _

The world spun as his two middle fingers was engulfed by his sweet, wet mouth, his tongue swirling around it. He was so aroused right now, and he wanted more, from this boy, from this dream, this nightmare. He tried to reach for him, to touch him, kiss him, but he seemed to get a little further as he vanished, fading into the darkness beyond.

He jolted as he woke up, drenched in sweat. His hair stuck at his forehead and his breathing was erratic. Moreover, he had a painful erection that needed some attention.

.

_"Fuck." _

_._

The boy just turned him into a sweaty-tangled mess even in his dreams. He willed for his problem to go away, rolling to his side and clutching a pillow.


	7. Lost

**I guess my excuses are useless now. But I can honestly say that I have been stressed for the past two weeks because of so many things irl. I just.. can't.. ugh. Then the damned pc broke because of too much abuse.. **  
**I don't know how I managed to write this chapter anymore.. Anyway, sorry if some of you waited for a bit longer? ;_; I am actually frustrated with this chapter because it felt rushed... Maybe I will rewrite the whole story someday... I feel bad for my english..  
**

**I want to thank all my reviewers, all those who are following my story (from 3 now I got 55! yay), and all the favorites. You guys make me feel that I am doing something right.. (: Hope we finish this.**

_**Warning: a bit long chapter and some plot.**_

* * *

.

_"Yo Eren! I can't believe I saw you with Levi the other day."_ Jean said, a look of astonishment on his face.

_"I was a little shocked too seeing him last week. Never really saw this coming. So are the two of you—"_ He was cut off when Connie suddenly interrupted him.

_"Hey, hey now Jean, how come you're calling the Scouting Legion's Captain with his name? Are you close to him or something? _

The white haired boy looked shocked for a moment before he replied shamelessly,

_"What? Oh, didn't I tell you Connie? We went to school together. About.. five years ago. Me, Levi and Eren."_ He slung his arm around the brunet as he looked pointedly at him, grinning wide.

_"Right?"_

The brunet fought the urge to roll his eyes in return. He felt a little awkward now, as his fellow trainees flocked around him, hungry for some gossip. Armin and Mikasa just sat beside him in silence, waiting for what he is about to say.

_"How did you know him?"_ Marco started, sounding genuinely curious.

_"Uhm.."_

It was a little difficult than he had expected, but he continued nonetheless.

_"We met when we are still kids. Me and dad went to their house to visit his mother. She was my father's patient back then."_

_"So your father was a doctor? And his mother was sick? _Christa cut in, as her brows pulled in a small frown.

_"Is she.. still around?"_ She continued hesitantly.

_"No."_

The blonde girl looked apologetic.

_"Oh. That's a little sad.. I'm sorry."_

_"It was.."_

The last thing the brunet wanted to do was to talk about _his_ mother. It's just way too personal. He just purposefully left it hanging in there, as he waited for somebody else to change the topic. Sasha jumped in quickly.

_"What is he like, Eren?" _

_Now that was a lot better, even just a little_, Eren thought.

_"Levi? Well he's.." _the brunet didn't know where to start. He can probably talk about him the whole day saying everything he loved about him, but he just rather settle for a safe answer. He tried to continue, keeping it short.

_"We'll he's really a nice person once you know him. He's a little quiet, straightforward and serious but.." _He suddenly trailed off as he thought about how gentle he could actually be; how he can play a wonderful melody by the piano and how he sometimes gives him a smile that makes him melt. But those were the things that he can only share with him; the only thing he could consider was his.

_"But?"_ Sasha followed up.

_"But he really looks little scary."_ Connie finished.

The brunet smiled at that for he surely can be intimidating despite his height.

_"And he's really strong. But most of all.." _ Eren paused to emphasize what he'll say next.

.

_"He's such a clean freak."_

.

He heard simultaneous groans.

.

* * *

.

It was a perfect day and everyone lined up in the parade ground as the instructors prepared the training equipment that will be introduced that day in Maneuver class. Adept skills, what they learned, were pretty essential for a soldier to survive in battle. It uses one's natural abilities to perform evasive and offensive movements, using agility as an advantage all while suspended in mid-air. They need to get used with operating the 3D maneuver gear to be able to perform and perfect the skills needed to be qualified as a soldier, because if they fail, it will be the end of it.

_"You need to remember brats, when you receive your gear, treat it right, for your life depends on it, literally."_ The instructor reminded them grimly while everyone was being handed with the equipment.

_"First things first."_

_"You need to wear the straps right because it supports all your weight. It is designed to hold, distribute and even out your whole body mass so you will have perfect balance."_

The instructor demonstrated as they all stared in concentration, but why they need to use technology like this, no one still knows. _Why use those if they are going to fight against humans? Maybe it served more purpose in tactical surveillance and stealth missions more than anything,_ the brunet mused as he tried to listen as the instructor babbled endlessly on the topic.

Sooner that day they were asked to try and be lifted by the maneuver gear one by one, and it was fairly easy and it is the basic skill required to pass the class. For the rest of the future classes will be dedicated in finding their own style and perfecting basic and advanced movements with it. It proved to be a rather versatile equipment but without something to grab on to, it is pretty much useless in open areas without buildings or trees.

.

* * *

.

Days have passed and Eren has only been seeing glimpses of Levi around the monstrous fortress, either he was doing something nor just passing by, he seem to cannot get a hold of him lately. He just walks past him quickly, giving him a glance or a nod._ He_ felt a little strange to him, and it makes him worry. He was actually been looking forward to maybe practice with him or spar with him more (if that is not much to ask), but he guessed the other really got no time to spare. He wished that he just finish and graduate already, then he would be able to join the Scouting Legion.

.

Levi has been staring at a single document for ten minutes now, still not comprehending what it says. His mind was pretty occupied with something else and he was becoming really frustrated of his pending work. It has been days and he's still not able to meet Eren at the eye. How could he, when he cannot think innocently of him anymore? After that weird nightmare of his, he surely had not recovered his sense of sanity. Since then, he tried to avoid him entirely, walking away quickly when he sees him around, for Eren surely seemed to be _everywhere. _

He knows it wouldn't fix anything but maybe it will just go away when he pays no attention to it. _Right. He is totally not paying attention to it right now. _He thought sarcastically as he pushed the document away from his face and back to stack it came from.

_"To hell with it."_

He stormed out of the room and headed outside.

.

He stood quietly as he saw the brunet in the particular clearing they sparred in for some time ago. He was wielding the military training sword in his hands and has been practicing on slicing on a dummy for about six times now. It looked like he was having a hard time with it. He finally cannot stand just watching him, and decided to step in.

_"You're doing it wrong."_ He stated flatly as approached Eren's side.

The brunet whipped his head in his direction, a smile automatically appearing in his face. He was now in full alert.

_"Hey, Levi. What are you doing here?" _Eren asked eagerly.

_"Watching you try and fail."_ The raven-haired boy replied, teasing him. He received a pout in return, and was amused as the brunet furrowed his brows and let out a high-pitched reply.

_"I was trying!" _

_"Try harder."_

Eren paused as he tried to compose himself, sounding more defensive.

_"I just got this earlier." _

Levi actually thought that he was going to roll his eyes at him, but the brunet just sighed in frustration.

_"I just can't do it right. It always ends up cutting too shallow."_

_"Because you're using your hands."_

_"What?"_

_"What do you mean?"_ the brunet replied in a suddenly confused tone. The raven haired boy stood in front of him now, taking the swords from his hands.

_"When you swing your swords, you should not only use your hands. Use your entire body instead, drawing your force from your feet up to your arms."_

The brunet nodded unconsciously.

_"Show me?" _Levi nodded in return.

_"Watch."_

He stared as the raven haired boy parted his legs apart widely, stepping one foot forward and bringing the two swords up, one higher, and one at level to his right shoulder. He twisted his upper body along to his right, and swung.

The dummy's head flew in response to the force that cut right through it, fast and clean. Eren stared in awe, for the other boy looked anything but fierce in those swords. Even dangerous, he thought. Not to mention what seemed to be a dead look that he's got in his eyes for a fleeting moment.

_"Think you can do that?" _

He was back to earth again as he heard his voice.

_"I'll try."_

Eren tried to smile his way from his nervousness as his intense blue gaze watched him carefully. He just needed to do it like the way he did and he will not endure embarrassing himself. He placed his foot forward, as he twist and swung the swords with his hands. He immediately felt the difference as the blades sliced deeper into the dummy's body, almost cutting it in half.

_"Wow. That surely made it easier." _The brunet commented as he looked at the other once more, smiling at him gratefully. He received an appreciative nod in response.

_"Good. But it still doesn't change the fact that they have shitty instructors back there."_

The brunet laughed at his sharp remark, inching closer to the other. He replaced his swords back at its holster and slung his arm around the other boy. He cannot help himself. He begun to walk as he dragged the other along him easily, involving him in an idle chatter. _To hell with training. _He just rather waste his time with him.

_"Say, Levi. You think I can be good enough to join your squad?" _

The raven haired boy was taken aback by the sudden question as he stopped walking, a look of dread in his face.

_"You're better off in the Police force."_ Levi said, his gaze not leaving the other's face.

His brows met in his forehead as his lips turned downwards in a scowl. Eren almost groaned out his reply.

_"Nahh. You're not going to babysit me just like Mikasa don't you?" _ he asked accusingly.

"…."

_"Please tell me ." _

The brunet pleaded as heard no response, his eyes widening as he tried not to shake the boy beside him. Eren received a raised eyebrow and he pouted once more as the raven haired boy raised his hand and patted his head despite their height difference.

_"Maybe you should really be just a good boy and follow your sister."_ Levi said as he ruffled the brunet's hair. He wriggled off from the other's grip on his shoulder, reluctantly, and walked forward, but stopping short to ask something that he's forgotten.

_"Why are you here, Eren?"_

_"Huh? What do you mean—?"_ the brunet said as he walked towards the other. Levi turned towards him again, rephrasing his question.

_"Why did you join the Military?_

The green eyed boy hesitated at this point for he was not prepared to answer this question now. He could just say _"because I followed you here" or "I wanted to spend time with you" or simply "I wanted to be with you", _but he knows it isn't right. He knows it will ruin everything between them and he is not yet ready to take that risk. Three years of waiting will be wasted because he told him the truth.

_"I really don't know.."_

His lie is as low as a whisper as he limped beside the other boy. He has no idea if he is still being rational about things, but he does not want to give this up. But what if he already lost the battle in the first place?

Levi was startled to hear his small voice. He didn't understand why he suddenly looked so lost. _Will he tell him if he asked?_ _He doubted it, but how the hell was he supposed to know?_ A visible frown formed in his face.

_"If you're not sure about this, you really should think twice."_

Green eyes met his gaze and somehow the resolve in them came back.

_"Maybe I am not sure right now but I will be, and when that time comes.."_ Eren trailed off as a sad smile grazed his face.

.

_"You'll see."_

.

As days turned to weeks, and weeks turned to months, the trainees progressed with learning sword handling, 3D gear maneuvering, horse-back riding, gun firing and hand to hand combat. All was well and Eren felt like he was actually doing well with it especially since Levi seemed to be _there_ whenever he needed a little help with training. He cannot express how much he appreciated his help, for he knows that Levi didn't have much time in his hands, and it just motivates him even more to get stronger, as strong as him, an equal with him. If he can prove to everybody that he was worth it, then he would be able to fight by _his_ side when the time comes. He was sure now that this is what he wanted to do. Even if _he_ is always once step ahead from him, he will strive to catch up. Whatever consequences he will face, he will be prepared.

.

* * *

.

The smell of liquor hung heavily inside the room of the Military Police headquarters. It was early in the afternoon and the day was going slowly like it does everyday. The squad leader strolled casually at the walkway outside as he watched the busy district of Trost. Being assigned as a stationary troop sure was boring. Aside from taking care of petty cases of thefts and gang fights, the humongous district was pretty peaceful. The people are generally happy and they can just spend their days smoking and drinking booze. A few more hours and he will be able to watch as the sun sets in the east. He remained there standing peacefully as he stared in the horizon beyond.

.

Once again the bells rang all across the district.

.

He was awakened from his drunken stupor as he heard the echoes of warning coming from every direction in town.

_"The hell is that for? Is there another drill?"_ The squad leader looked around as he heard hurried footsteps coming towards him.

_"Sir Gavin, I have a report coming from the south station."_

Gavin waved his hand at the officer, urging him to continue. He felt a heavy mass in his gut as he saw the sweat in other's forehead and the look of urgency in his face.

_"About an hour ago, several of those… "things" were spotted entering the southernmost gate, sir. The police force tried containing it."_

_"What?! What's the status now?" _Gavin asked, shock showing in his voice and face.

_"They weren't able control it. They need back-up immediately, sir."_

_"How many are we talking about here?"_

Gavin's eyes widened as he heard of his reply for never in so many years that those creatures were spotted near the district. Reports had always said that the Military had wiped the left over from the epidemic in Maria ten years ago, but for it to reach here in Trost, now, suddenly, is just unimaginable. How did they slip from the grasps of the Military? Was there a new outbreak? He gritted his teeth as he felt the cold sweat breaking from his skin. It will be chaos if they would not be able to contain it. The public does not really know anything and he was sure panic will arise. He needs to decide and act now.

.

* * *

.

_"We have an incoming report sir."_

Petra said as she quickly strode the commander's office. It was nine in the morning and the Scouting Legion was planning another expedition to Maria when the petite girl came rushing in. Irvin eyed her curiously as he motioned for her to come closer. She looked dead serious and he's getting a bad feeling about it.

_"Go on Petra."_

_"This is a message two days ago from Trost, sir. The district.."_

_"It was under attack."_

A sudden look of horror passed the blond man's face as he heard what she had said. He already knew what it meant, and it means everything has gone bad. He spared glances at the raven haired boy in the room and saw his grim look.

_"How many?"_ the blond man continued.

_"Unknown. But they were able to wipe out half of the population in a day."_

_"What?!" _Irvin blurted out in shock as his jaw clenched hardly in his face.

_"They need more soldiers, sir."_

Everybody seemed to stop breathing for a moment. Half or even more of the Trost population is wiped out. And for the Military Police to ask for help despite their massive number meant everything was going terribly wrong. Irvin can't help but think about what happened to Maria ten years ago. How it has become a barren and ruined place now. How it was afterwards forgotten by the government like it never existed. How the bodies piled up and burned in a massive burial. The nightmare was happening again. It enraged his soul and he promised a long time ago that he will do everything to end it.

He stared at everyone, communicating with a silent message. A look of determination settled on his face.

_"Gather everyone in the Legion and prepare. We are going to Trost."_

.

.

There was a commotion as everyone in the Scouting Legion was gathered in the parade ground. Eren's class looked outside as they watched the soldiers line-up in what looked like a sudden meeting with the Generals and the Commanders. But everyone returned to their seats as one of the Military Trainee Officers suddenly entered the room.

_"I hope everybody is having a good day today. Unfortunately something of great importance came up." _The officer paused, looking grim.

_"We will need everyone's help. It is far too early for everybody right now, but consider this as training."_

Everybody tensed.

_"First, every trainee will be assigned in a relief operation only, unless pulled out and assigned another task. You will aid other soldiers in treating the injured, evacuation of civilians, and peace keeping."_

_"Second, follow your superior's orders and don't go alone anywhere by yourself."_

_"Third, prepare your 3D maneuver gear and equip it at all times. Everyone shall gather at the parade ground in an hour."_

Everyone seemed to have an ominous feeling about the sudden orders and Eren finally dared to ask, raising his hands for a question.

_"Sir, can you at least tell us what's happening?"_

The Trainee Officer shot him a dreadful look, but did give him a reply that the boy regretted knowing.

_"Trost is under siege. They need our help to contain the problem."_

His green eyes opened wide as shock shot right through his body. He felt like he was about to stutter as he stood up to ask more questions. Mikasa's attention was also now at full, her eyes deadly.

_"Attacked? By whom?! When?! Sir—I'm from Trost. Please tell me what's—" _

The officer raised his hand authoritatively to cut him off.

_"I don't have all the details right now. You'll know when you get there. So just shut your mouth and save your energy until then. Everyone's dismissed."_

.

Eren can't keep away the nagging feeling as he packed the things he will need. They will support the Scouting Legion in a clearing operation of some sort. Why it needed to be the trainees, he didn't know. _Maybe they needed more soldiers to stay to guard the fortress in case of a pre-emptive strike from the enemy? _

Mikasa was trying to assure him that everything will be fine but his gut is heavy and something felt terribly wrong. He tried but his mind drifted to his mother and father back home and the feeling intensified tenfold. Trost was under attack. There is a possibility of a nation war, for the district was not neutral after all. For many years, other countries tried to conquer other nations to enlarge their territory. But never had once anyone tried to do so in Trost nor any other districts under Rose, for the Military that served the King was massive in comparison to any other nations. He hoped that the situation wasn't that grave and everyone was fine. It will take them a whole day to get there. And it wasn't fast enough.

.

* * *

.

Dark clouds hung low as the Scouting Legion approached the entrance to a town slowly. They just reached the district an hour ago and immediately they were dispatched to survey the area. All the survivors were already secured and what was left to do now is containment.

The smell of burnt wood and an eerie silence filled the air as the unmistakable stench of decay floated along with it, making their insides turn slowly, while cold sweat trickled their bodies. Their horses seemed agitated as well, disturbed by the foggy environment.

_"They burned everything." _

Hanji remarked in an unbelieving tone as she scoured the place with her eyes.

The blond man continued to stride ahead, keeping their pace slow as they entered deeper into the city.

_"I guess they tried to ward them off from totally entering the district by burning everything across their path. It looked like it worked for some time but they cannot risk on burning the whole damned place." _

_"Where do we start?_ _This fog surely isn't helping."_ Levi suddenly interjected.

Irvin drove his horse to a halt, as he made it turn around to face his army.

_"We need to split up."_

_"Levi, take your squad south."_

_"Hanji, you go east."_

_"Mike, lead your squad to the west."_

_"All the other remaining squads will go on standby in the middle. Assign someone in your squad to do the relay. If your squad gets caught in an encounter, fire a red smoke signal. Fire a green one once you cleared an area. If you need help, fire a black round. We will do everything to reach your squad if something worse happens."_

_"My squad will be heading north."_

Everyone assembled with their squads immediately, relaying their orders. Levi halted as he turned back to Irvin, waiting for his signal.

_"Search for more survivors." _

_"And eliminate everything that isn't human."_

.

* * *

.

Eren frantically searched the evacuation area for the familiar face of his mother and father. The sea of faces that flooded the Military Police barracks portrayed the horror of what took place in the past three days. The incessant crying of men, women and children seemed almost unbearable to watch. He cannot calm the throbbing in his chest as he still not found the ones he was looking for.

_"Where are they?"_ he gritted his teeth as he scanned through the crowd once more.

_"Eren. They're not here."_ He snapped his eyes towards Mikasa as she approached him, her face in deep concern.

_"I need to find them. They might still be in the city somewhere. Anywhere. They might need help." _

_"I'm coming with you."_ Mikasa's look was deadly as she grabbed his arm, telling him silently that the matter can't be argued.

They might get reprimanded later but Eren doesn't care anymore. He needs to find them. He needs to make sure that they are all right. He needs to know everything that has happened. He will not leave this place until he made sure they were alright.

_"We cannot be seen. Let's go."_

.

.

He felt the shudders that went down his spine as they entered the looming city ahead. The once lively and bright place was now empty and smog has covered a large part of it, preventing the sun from going through. The smell of rotting flesh was revolting enough to make him throw up but he pushed it out of his mind quickly as they approached the familiar path leading to their village. They have been maneuvering with the 3D gear for almost an hour now and they haven't seen a civilian, or any sign of the living yet. Soldiers that are searching the city became scarce as they went deeper to the places that are filled with smog. There were just the two of them now.

_"IS ANYBODY HERE?"_ Eren shouted as they neared the row of houses, looking in every direction as he strained his ears for any sound. Mikasa has already hurried to their house though, looking at the window from the outside. He jogged towards her when he saw her try to open the door.

_"It's locked from the inside."_ The brunet girl said as it didn't budge beneath her weight.

_"Let me try."_

He slammed the door for the third time with his body and it gave up completely, letting him stumble upon the floor. He got up to his feet as he quickly ran around the house, breathless. He isn't expecting to find anyone here but he was still hoping none the least. And he stopped as he saw her, lying in her stomach in the kitchen floor.

His shock was tremendous.

_"Mom?" _

He called for her but the figure didn't make a move, cannot seem to make a move. He was not sure if he was trembling or if the ground was shaking for he can't stop the tremors in his body as he reached out to her, shifting her torso towards him. Cold. She was cold already and pools of crimson had dried beneath her by the floor. He seemed to stagger for words as the air he breathed choked him. His vision is beginning to blur as tears stung his eyes, forcing their way out of him in a silent cry.

_"Mom?"_ he tried again as he touched her broken face. A chunk of her shoulder was missing, along with her neck and left arm.

_"Eren!"_ Mikasa called as she stared at him and the broken remains of what used to be their mother. What has done this to her wasn't human, she was sure of it. It was an animal, a monster even, for a human can't possibly stomach such a grisly act. Or maybe, that person was deranged, sick in the mind and soul. She tried not to trip as she staggered walking towards him, feeling nauseous.

_This isn't happening._ Eren thought. He was definitely having a nightmare for everything felt surreal at the moment. Everything was a dream, from the silent, abandoned city, to the smell of rot and him, coming home to her now lifeless mother. He wanted to wake up now to see her smiling face as she welcomed him home, and feel her warmth as she trapped him in a tight embrace.

He screamed.

.

Eyes seemed to move frantically to the sound of a pained cry that echoed amongst the misty sky. It followed the sound instinctively like a beacon, inviting everyone as they moved away from the darkest crevices that concealed them from everyone else.

He screamed over and over again as he tried to grasp the reality before him. The brunet girl wrapped him in her arms as she tried to not share his harsh cries that tear her soul apart. Not now, not today, she thought, as she held him tightly as if to protect him from the alien world they were in right now. She needed to be strong. She does not know what is happening but she cannot lose herself when Eren is breaking down.

She tried collecting her thoughts but felt an involuntary shiver as she heard a grating sound by window all of a sudden. It felt ominously terrifying as she heard something sharp scratching it, trying to open it. She willed herself to look behind her to see, but she snapped back to Eren as he suddenly stiffened beneath her grasp. She called his name as she followed his gaze, going to the kitchen's ceiling. She froze.

Its eyes glowed as it snarled and crawled its way slowly to ceiling, its body was bare, hands and feet clutching and grating against the wooden walls._ It_ sent them a hungry stare, like a wild animal looking at its prey. Mikasa shifted nervously in her place as her eyes stared against it, her mind going blank. She released the breath she was holding as she suddenly heard Eren's shaking voice call out to her silently.

_"Mikasa."_

He gripped her arms tightly as tears stopped flowing down his face. His wide eyes stared against the creature by the ceiling, seizing it automatically, his mind apprehending involuntarily, unconsciously.

_"We need to get out of here. Now." _

_"Eren, what is that—"_she trailed off as she saw him unsheathe one of his military swords from his holster.

_"That thing.."_

He continued, a look of terror crossing his face.

_"I'm sure whatever it is, I need to kill it."_

.

They both automatically scrambled backwards as it suddenly lunged from above, landing on all fours in front of them. Mikasa was petrified in place as she stared while it crawled quickly to their direction like a human spider. The green eyed boy quickly lunged forward, stabbing it through its back and pinning it against the floor. He turned to the girl and screamed at her to run.

_"Mikasa—!"_ he was cut off as it suddenly bit his leg, forcing him to let out another scream.

_"AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!"_

The boy twisted his blade in reaction, forcing it deeper against the creature's body. His fear was mixed with a sudden rage now, as he tried to pry his leg from its clutch.

_"You fucker!"_

_"Why don't you just die!" _

He seemed to have hurt it as it released his leg to let out a shrill cry. Adrenaline rushing, he quickly stepped backwards leaving the blade that was restraining the creature into the floor. He draws out his other sword, and lunged forward once more, stabbing the creature through its neck. It squirmed and shrieked beneath him and it made his own flesh quiver in revulsion.

Whatever it was, it does not seem to want to die that easily. Eren took the opportunity and pulled Mikasa who seemed to be still dazed at the moment. He tried to shake her away from it, screaming at the top of his lungs.

_"Mikasa! Mikasa! We need to get out of here now! Snap out of it! Let's go!"_

Her eyes were still blank but she seemed to comprehend what he has said as he dragged her out of the house. He stopped as he felt panic crept over him when he saw more of them outside swarming to their direction. About five, he guessed, as some of them left his sight when it climbed the walls of the nearby houses.

_"What the fuck!"_ he hissed as tried to think of what they should do. Maybe he needs to try and kill the visible ones right now or maybe they'll just run for it. It was too risky but he decided on the latter and grabbed at the girl's hand once again as he pulled her to a run the opposite direction. He fell to the ground though as one lunged at him from a wall above, sending the girl yelping and rolling to the ground.

_"Arrgh! Get off me you—!"_ the boy screeched as he struggled beneath the creature's force, as it tried to claw at his body and bite his face.

_"Mikasa! Mikasa! Stand up! Mikasa!"_

_._

Mikasa felt like she was detached from reality right now as she watched as _it_ approached her slowly, its bright, bloodshot eyes hungry for something carnal. She felt oddly calm, as the world fell mute around her and the only sound that she hears was the slow beating of her heart and the buzzing in her head. She felt like she was forgetting something important though, and that was when she saw her face, her mother's face, scared and lifeless.

Her blood rushed through her veins like wildfire and she felt like she was going to burn in an instant. Right, she has forgotten something extremely important. She heard a faint sound as he called to her once again, his voice desperate. The sound has become suddenly clearer, along with her thoughts.

_"There is no one here now but me."_

The words came out of her lips like a mantra as she pulled her swords out precisely, slowly. Her grey eyes locked to the creature that loomed above the boy and time seemed to stop. She halted as she felt the sword slice to the creature's flesh and bone, retracting it from its head as it hissed and limped. The boy quickly pushed himself away from it before she turned around to face the other one behind her, crossing and slicing both her swords against its neck. Its body fell as its head flew to the ground, rolling around as it fizzed.

.

.

Eren struggled to keep himself up as the pain on his leg became worse, for adrenaline has worn off and he can now feel as the wound throbbed and bled furiously. They have maximized their 3D manuever gear to run away from those things as fast as they can, but his leg is making it difficult for him to land on his feet. He saw several of them in the ground following their lead as some others climbed and hid against the walls and mist.

They need to hurry and get away from there, or they will become food of these abominable creatures. He knew, even without anyone telling them. _Just one look and you will know._ It was purely instinct, and it was what told him that they needed to kill it, before it kills them, just like a wild animal in a jungle. He knew that they will definitely get swarmed if they land and fight their way through, but sooner or later they will need to continue by foot as he heard the sound of gas fading more quickly by the second.

_"Such a good timing huh? Fuck it."_ The boy cussed as he trailed after Mikasa. It seems like hers was almost empty as she suddenly halted atop a nearby roof. _"Eren! I'm out of gas."_ Mikasa said frantically as she turned towards him. The boy landed beside her as he struggled to his feet, sweat dripping from his forehead. He was looking pale. Mikasa's features turned to concern immediately.

_"Eren, how are you feeling? Let me take a look."_

She pulled at the leg of his pants as she crouched beside him, examining the damage. Her face distorted in a grimace as she took out a handkerchief and tied it securely against the wound.

_"It's not looking good. They might carry tons of infections with them. That needs to be treated now."_ Mikasa's voice was urgent, but it seemed like Eren had something else in mind as he didn't respond. The boy just looked at her, his face becoming dark and serious. He seemed a little disoriented as he pulled out the canister of gas from its holster.

_"Mikasa, listen to me. You need to go ahead."_

The girl's eyes widened as she heard the words, and anger suddenly rose to her chest.

_"What are you saying?! Are you out of your mind! I am NOT leaving you here! Eren— listen to me—!" _Eren cut her off, as he grabbed her arm, thrusting the canister in her hand.

_"NO! You listen to me, you need to go now. I'll take care of myself."_

He shot the girl a rare stern expression as a warning, his voice hard.

_"Don't argue with me Mikasa."_

Extreme worry broke to the girl's face as she pleaded to him now, voice cracking. She shook her head from side to side as if to try and dismiss the idea.

_"Eren, I can't. I can't." _

It looked like she would almost cry and Eren immediately softened.

_"Mikasa, look at me. Please. You can. You can do this. I will be fine. I promise. Will you just listen to me even once? Just this_ once?"

He clasped her face as he looked into her eyes, hoping that she will comply.

_"Mikasa.."_

_"I promise."_

He breathed an air of relief as she finally returned his gaze."

_"I'm gonna look for help Eren." _She paused as she struggled with her emotions.

_"You'd better be here when I come back." _

He gave her a small smile and a nod despite the twisting feeling in his gut. He pushed her to go as he drew his sword once more.

.

_"Go. Now."_

.

He prayed to whatever god there was in the heavens that she will be fine as he looked at her retreating back. He has made the right decision. She might hate him forever if he won't be able to get out of here in one piece, but that is better than seeing her being eaten alive. His leg felt numb right now and he wondered if he could still walk.

What seemed like a herd of them now swarmed below the building, trying to climb at the wall desperately to reach him. Unlike the others that have claws that enabled them to climb, those below seemed to look more human, even slightly, in appearance. They do not seem to have some kind of intelligence at all, as they fumbled below aimlessly. But his short luck seemed to have gone sooner than expected as he saw those spider-like creatures crawling against the walls of the building.

He needed to think now, something, anything. He automatically retreated as he frantically thought of a solution to escape. But he's got no time anymore, and those creatures are faster than he thought and the next thing he knew he was wielding his sword as one lunged towards him, mouth wide open for a bite. It retreated once as his sword grazed it jaw, snarling at him in return. It lunged once more, more quickly and deadly now, but he is focused, despite the loud drumming of his heart in his ears. He cannot feel his foot but he stood ground, as he twisted his body and swung at his swords in full force. He felt as it cut through raw flesh and bones, and its head lolled as it fell to the ground below. _One._ He saw three more. If they are intelligent enough to attack all at once, he's dead. He braced himself against a chimney as his eyes shot in every direction, desperately trying to read their movement. One has crept below the roof, disappearing from his sight. And to his bewilderment and horror, the other two started to claw and bite at each other suddenly, seeming to fight for dominance. "_They are fighting, but why? For food?_" He thought grimly as he watched and heard them tear at each other's flesh, letting out guttural sounds that make his blood curd. He decided to grab the opportunity to strike while they are distracted, but his damned leg wouldn't let him as it gave away completely now, feeling like it was made of jelly. Just a split second later and he saw red, as the other one that was probably hiding earlier lunged at him, sending him tumbling down from the roof below.

He let out a pained scream as he hit the ground hard. He tried to blink the haziness from his eyes away as he tried to scramble away from the swarm that was now closing in every direction. _Shit. _His whole body throbbed and he stilled as he felt one of his swords in the ground, glinting against the haze that surrounded his mind.

_He'd rather die than get eaten_. He thought dumbly as he reached for it, grasping at it tightly.

Everything seemed to slow down in time as he raised it against himself, his hands shaking uncontrollably. His thoughts were reduced to a jumbled mess but he has decided, yet hesitated as he heard a sound piercing the misty skies above. Bodies dropped one by one as he saw a bloody smoke rise from the ground nearby, hearing shouting at a distance.

His heart soared as he saw _his_ deadly dance against the unknown, slicing and spinning his way through. He watched as it rained blood, and it seemed to be the most horrifying and most beautiful thing at the same time.

He was saved.

.

_"Eren!" _

.

He heard his voice as the darkness engulfed him, and he willingly submits.


	8. Shatter

**I guess one word can summarize this whole chapter? ;_; I don't know.. this chap felt raw. **

**I wanted to thank of course all those who are leaving comments and following this, I just hope that you wouldn't expect too much...? errr. I want to do my best but for the first time since I started writing this story, I am feeling lost to what and how I will write the next chapters.. T_T I finally gave name to those creatures D: . I was struggling on what to call it because they aren't really zombies and not titans either. sigh***

**Please tell me what you think? **

**Anyway I am so obsessed with watching Levi's MMD. omg. It's the sexiest thing ever for me. If you want to see it (just edit the underscores):** http_www_youtube_com/watch?v=vfAfcHEy9VQ&feature=share&list=FLqboTK_UAfHmkfAzY7R4Fow

* * *

.

He woke up screaming in a room that smelled of antiseptics and antibiotics. His whole body ached and his head throbbed painfully against his skull. He listened as a voice called out his name, the vivid images of his nightmare dissolving into a hazy fog. He can still see her face as she called for him, frightened and in pain. Her tears fell as _she_ struggled against the creature's deadly grasp, devouring her slowly, gnawing at her flesh and bones. He cannot look away as she tried to reach out to him, screaming out his name.

_"Eren!" _

_"Eren, please help me.."_

_"Plllll—ease.. ddd-on't leave me."_

_"Hel—"_

He was pulled back to reality as he felt Mikasa shook him anxiously.

_"Eren, are you alright?"_

His wide green eyes shifted to her, as he tried to form words in his throat. He was only able to mutter incoherently before warm tears fell from his eyes.

_"Mmm—ikasa.."_

_"Mikasa.. She's gone.. I can't.. save her."_ He managed to say between his choked sobs. His head bobbed as he gripped the blanket tightly, his knuckles turning white. The brunet girl wrapped her arms around him as she tried to hush him, comfort him. She was desperately trying to hold back her own emotions for some time now, and she watched him fall apart once more, leaving her helpless.

He still needs her now.

She mumbled comforting words to him as she continued to console him, wiping away his tears that never seemed to stop flowing.

_"Eren, I'm still here. Don't worry, I'll never leave you."_

_"I promise. Everything will be alright."_

_"Okay?"_

She pulled at her red scarf, its warmth leaving her, making her feel vulnerable. But it once belonged to him, and she's willing to hand it back for now temporarily. It was undeniably the most precious item that she possessed, for it reminds her of the time that he'd saved and welcomed her to his family, to his world. It would always remind her of his brightest green eyes and his warmest smiles. She cannot bear the sight of him now, looking so cold and broken. She wrapped the warm, red cloth against his neck, leaning his head toward her shoulder. She watched as he wept more silently, and the world seemed to stop turning again. But she knows that the sun will still rise tomorrow in the east, its own warm light embracing the world once more.

.

Levi slipped in the infirmary as he saw Mikasa leave the room, looking exhausted. She held a tray in her hands as she strode the hallway, and he can't help but notice that something seemed missing from her usual appearance.

She looked rather cold without it.

His chest tightened as he watched his silent breathing. He reached out to him gently, stroking his hair, his face, and his drying tears. He looked anything but sorrowful as he slept, unconsciously clutching the familiar red scarf that was securely wrapped around him.

This day he knew that _she_ was willing to go great lengths for him, to save him and protect him. He was actually stunned to see her earlier, as she frantically approached his squad, asking for help. She didn't even care if she was out of gas, as she ran dead straight to him, not even caring if a swarm was following her closely behind. Just one word and immediately he knew.

_"Eren."_

He whispered solemnly as he continued in stroking his dark locks.

_"I guess she really loves you, huh?"_

.

* * *

.

_"What's his condition?"_ Irvin asked Hanji.

They have been discussing the events that took place that day with the officers of the Scouting Legion, when he remembered that boy that Levi hauled in earlier. He was clutching to him like a lifeline and he can't help but get worried. It was Eren. He had never thought that he will join the military. He was still a kid the last time he saw him with Levi.

_"If you're asking about that boy, Eren, isn't he? Well.. other than dislocated joints and the wound in his leg, he seemed to be still doing good."_

_"Are there any signs of infection?" _ the blond man continued.

_"I honestly can't tell right now. It's too early to say, and we need to monitor him for a few more days."_

The blond man paused as he seemed to ponder about something.

_"Eren Jaeger. His father was a doctor."_

Hanji nodded automatically in return, having conducted the background check already.

_"According to his file, yes, his father was." _

_"Grisha Jaeger."_

_"A doctor that specializes on diseases. He also aims at developing antidotes for various incurable illnesses."_

Sensing what the blond man was about to ask, the spectacled woman continued,

_"There's no sign of him yet. We've asked to search for his body and it seemed like he's not been there at all. We've also asked some survivors who knew him and they confirmed of not seeing him around for quite some time."_

The blond man released a sigh.

_"Commander, shall we push through with finding him? I know you wanted to help the kid but we don't know if he's still alive out there somewhere. We don't have so much time in our hands."_

_"I know. But he might be of great importance for the research team."_

Hanji senses went alert. Irvin seemed to be going about something important about the doctor and she can tell that it concerns the Eotena research.

_"I am not yet sure but I am hoping that maybe, maybe he can provide us answers."_

_"Dr. Jaeger. He's also the doctor that has been treating Sophia Rivaille for a long time. And I actually thought that he was making progress with her condition before."_

Hanji's expression turned to surprise.

_"Levi's mother."_

_"Do you mean that he actually knew about this for a long time? But how?"_

The blond man nodded slowly.

_"He did, and he was gravely distressed when Sophia died. I didn't know if he actually knew what it was but he seemed to have a firm understanding about the disease."_

_"Last thing I've heard about him when we left is that he was researching for another possible cure."_

_"Then why did the military not pay attention to him before?"_ Hanji butted in.

_"You yourself can answer that question Hanji."_ Irvin retorted flatly. The spectacled woman clenched her jaw. She doubted the chances of them finding him, but if he was the missing key that Irvin needed, they'll gonna need to turn Rose and Shina upside down just to find him.

_"We don't know if he's still alive. We shouldn't get our hopes high."_

Irvin's feature was still hard and unflinching, but his underlying worry is undeniable.

_"His son is in possible danger."_

Hanji unconsciously adjusted her glasses against the bridge of her nose, her grave expression returning.

_"Two things are for sure though, even if we find him or not, Eren.."_

_"He'll either die, or he'll turn."_

.

.

He felt his head pounding as he thought of the wound on Eren's leg. It has begun healing already and Hanji suspects that the infection was beginning to consume the boy. His gut twisted as he thought about a familiar wound that he had three years ago, and how it healed and disappeared completely, leaving no traces behind. No one knew about it, except Petra.

_He didn't turn, but why?_

Until now he wasn't able to answer that question. It plagued him for many years now that he actually thought of forgetting about it entirely. He might just be lucky. Though hearing about Dr. Jaeger leads him to believe that he'll have answers once he finds him. He needed to find him. After all, he was the one who treated his mother. But what if her case was actually different and she wasn't infected at all? Levi sighed as he massaged his temple with his fingers.

It didn't matter anymore. I didn't matter because this wasn't about him, it is about Eren. His thoughts drifted back to when he saw him, as he was surrounded by those _eotens. _He was frightened. It frightened him in such a way that he never felt before. The thought of losing him against those damned creatures, seeing him get eaten alive was unfathomable, unacceptable. He felt himself broke into a rampage, as he rushed to where he was, slicing everything in sight, everything that blocked his path to Eren. He's got to save him. He cannot afford to lose him now. It will drive him insane.

They can try, but he will have to die first, he thought.

.

* * *

.

Jean paced uncomfortably in the Military bunker, trying to comprehend what had happened of their past three days in Trost.

Hearing the stories from the survivors and the truth from the higher ups sends a chill down his spine. It sounded unreal but seeing Mikasa and a very injured Eren storming into the headquarters the other day with the Scouting Legion only solidified the information that they have received.

For almost twenty years now, the Military has been in a war against what they call _"Eotens"_, those creatures that attacked Trost and other parts of the country. They were once humans, now devouring their own, infecting the ones who lives, and killing the vulnerable and weak. It came from the "_Eotenum_ virus", and whatever type of disease it was, its origins where still unknown. Worst of all, there was still no cure invented for the past two decades to stop it or reverse it. And as horrifying as it sounds, a small group of them would be able to infect hundreds of people that they will come in contact to; turning some of them almost instantly, for it varies from one person to another. His heart pounded as the thought of fighting those creatures finally dawned at him. The only way to kill them is by severing its head completely, eliminating the most essential part of its body. Injuring them in other areas besides its head will only hurt them temporarily, immobilizing and slowing them down, but it won't cause fatal damage for they can regenerate lost parts and wounds almost immediately.

He was not prepared for this, not at all. He wondered what his other squad mates felt.

Will they quit now?

He unconsciously glanced to where Armin was, and the blonde boy sure looked shaken as he sat at the corner of his bunk, hugging his knees. Jean clicked his tongue in frustration.

Will he give up joining the Military Police?

.

* * *

.

The fog had lifted from the massive district and everyone can now clearly see the damage that has befallen the once peaceful place. The Military still guarded every entrance, not letting any civilians or trainees pass until the sweeping operation had finished. They found no more survivors, and the only ones left are the monsters that slithered and crawled everywhere, looking for any signs of humans. It took the Scouting Legion a whole day to contain them, before the clean-up began.

Hundreds upon hundreds of bodies decomposed immediately after death, steam rising to the skies once more, obscuring the sunlight. Hundreds of victims were also recovered, not only civilians but also soldiers, and was set for a massive burial in the grand hills of Trost.

The fire lit up the evening sky as farewells were sent, from loved ones that are now forced to move on from the horrifying nightmare. Most of the survivors will be transported north to Rose and Shina, while others still refused to leave despite of it all. But in the end they were forced to comply, realizing that the lives that were thrown for their own salvation were going to waste.

The Military wouldn't let their soldiers die in vain.

Like Maria, Trost will now be forgotten by the Kingdom, erased from its history forever, but memories will still linger on those who lived, and it is all that remains.

.

* * *

.

Three days had passed, and Eren was walking again in his feet, as he strode through the lunchroom of the Police Headquarters. There, he was quickly greeted by Hanji, who asked immediately about his wound. Levi watched as he gave her a short answer and a nod as he sat down next to Mikasa. He still wore that red scarf as he stared blankly at his food. The brunet girl soothed him at once, stroking his back gently as she motioned for him to eat. He gave her a tired smile as he nodded, slowly eating his meal.

He seemed so far away and Levi saw nothing, nothing but pain in his face. His smile was gone and his green eyes have dulled out its once vibrant glow. He forced Eren out of his mind. There are things that are needed to be done and he can't let his feelings interfere with his judgement or his duties. It would only make it difficult for the both of them if he didn't stop now. After all, he had Mikasa, and his _friends._

Eren felt hollow as he stole glances of the raven haired boy from where he sat. After what happened for the past week, he was not able to see or talk to him even once. He wasn't been able to thank him yet. He would probably be rotting right now with the victims if it weren't for him. Or maybe, he might actually become one of them.

Hanji had already told him everything that he needed to know.

He wanted to feel his presence around him so badly and assure himself that he was still there. But it felt like he was also slipping out of his world slowly and painfully, each day. Everything has gone too fast and he was getting left behind. He had lost one of the most important people in his life, and he won't be able to take it if he loses another one. He feels like his heart is going to shatter into a thousand pieces, its fragments piercing against his chest.

Everything was not the way they were supposed to be.

Everything is out of place and he wished that it was all just a bad dream. He was beginning to regret all of his decisions and he wondered if he would be able to change anything if he did not leave. Regret was filling his hallow chest and if he do not stop, he'll probably suffocate.

He cannot undo what was done anymore.

He cry no more either for he had already promised himself, that he would kill every single one of them.

They devoured _her._

Kill or get killed. He has got no other option.

Eren wondered if Levi felt the same way when he lost her, his beloved _mother_.

.

* * *

.

Levi was trying to sleep when he heard a knock on the door in the middle of the night. He didn't know how he found this room, but this is Eren, and he is still full of surprises. Eren's face was still somber but something else lingered, and he cannot identify what it was.

He wasn't wearing the red scarf anymore.

He let him inside and he felt the weight of his stare in the partial darkness. He listened as his soft, melancholic voice filled the silent room.

_"Levi."_

_" How.."_

_"How did you do it?"_

Levi felt lost as heard his question. He can tell the pained expression on the brunet's face from the faint light that seeped into the room. His eyes seemed to glow from within, and he was sure it will haunt him after this night was over. He wanted to hold him. It was like an involuntary response when he stepped closer, but he restrained himself from reaching out as he tried to find in own voice instead.

_"I don't understand." _

His voice came out strained and he heard the brunet ask the same question.

_"How did you do it?"_

Levi watched as Eren struggled against his words and emotions. He watched as he was torn apart and he just wanted to understand.

_"How did you forget?"_

_"How did you make the pain go away, Levi?"_

Levi felt his heartbeat skip as he realized Eren's vague questions.

He himself does not know how he was able to move on from that moment in his life. Maybe it's because he had already lost his hope a long time ago or maybe because he knew already that she will leave him at any given moment.

When it happens, he knew that everything will be gone, except for himself.

But if he will not live for anything, what else would he live for?

He had decided a long time ago that instead of grieving and feeling pathetic for himself, he will just devote himself to the Military, or to serving people. Irvin was there to help him. It is not what he dreamt he would be, but it was all that he had, and it was enough, he thought. But Eren came to his life and he had changed everything since the beginning, and he realized that he still needed, wanted something else.

Eren was here now, and he was hurting, the same way he hurt back then.

He was just like him, desperate to forget.

_"I didn't forget, Eren."_

_"I never did forget. But joining the Military helped me thought of other things that are greater than me, more important than me, and my emotions."_

_"Eren I—"_ he tried to continue, but stopped as _his_ warmth enveloped his body. He stiffened as Eren embraced him, feeling him breathing against his ear.

_"Why do you always leave me behind?"_

Levi's heart raced as he heard his words, clear and unforgiving. He was feeling suddenly conflicted about _him_, _his_ actions and his own emotions. Everything went reeling and he wanted to clutch him for support.

_"You don't understand.. Eren."_

_"I don't."_ The brunet interjected immediately, urgently, his voice a mere whisper in his ears.

_"Why can't you tell me, Levi?" _

Eren felt the raven haired boy falter as he stood stiffly in his embrace. He hoped that he will not push him away and leave him hanging with his unsaid words. It will be too painful.

_"Eren, I don't have anything left."_

_"This is the only thing I know. This is what gives me purpose."_

Eren felt like he was stabbed in his heart as heard his reply.

He wanted to tell him the truth at this moment but he was scared. He distanced himself from the other boy as he stared to his face, trying to find his eyes.

He wavered against his stare for it was the first time that he saw the tumult in his usually stoic façade. It seemed like he can see him, read him very clearly now, all of a sudden. There was fear in his eyes. Eren can't help but blurt out his own thoughts instead, his frustrations and fear lacing his words. His frown deepened in his face, as he tried to calm his nerves.

_"No.." _

_"Why can't you see?" _

He gripped Levi's shoulders as he thought twice of what he was going to say. Levi's face became agitated, and he felt like he was going to choke.

_"I'm here."_

_"Levi."_

His grip tightened against his shoulders as he forced his words out.

_"I was always here."_

_"You don't have to be alone."_

Levi's heart beat wildly against Eren's words, to his now sudden boldness, and his honesty. He was not fully sure what he will make out of it, but it felt like the only thing he ever wanted, and needed to hear. He never felt so lonely in his entire life until now.

Levi finally relaxed as he let Eren rest his forehead against his own, feeling his breathing against his lips. He knew that he has already lost himself to this boy. Yes, he had already lost this battle a long time ago.

_He_ was so close.

He placed his hands against the brunet's hips as his name rolled out of his mouth.

_"Eren.."_

He felt Eren's warm hands as it cupped his face, and he held his breath as he anticipated what he'll say next. He closed his eyes as he breathed him in, and he wished that he saw his eyes when he spoke. But his voice was enough to send shivers down his spine, and he just wished that this moment will never end instead, for what he said will ring in his mind forever.

.

.

_"Don't leave me."_

.

.


	9. Hope

**After contemplating on what direction this fic is gonna take, I've finally decided. ;_; Sorry if this took too long, for I was really debating with myself on this. **

**As usual, I cannot express how thankful I was for the encouragement I was receiving from some of the comments. I am taking this seriously now. XD. lol. I hope though that this will not bore you out for this isn't a lovey dovey fic anymore. ;_; errrr. **

**Thank you to all the people that are following, commenting, faving and reading this.**

* * *

.

Levi hadn't got any sleep at all. He spent the whole night checking on Eren, as he hears him moan, and mumble incoherent things while he slept at his side. He wondered if he was having a nightmare, and he guessed that he was. So instead of sleeping he just hushed him from time to time, whispering softly to him against the darkness. He really didn't know how to do this kind of things, but he still tried, and it felt right. As right as the feeling of Eren clinging to him unconsciously as he patted him lightly and stroke his hair. He hoped that everything will be alright.

He hoped that Eren will be Eren, still. He fought the urge to squeeze him tightly in an embrace.

What will he do if Eren loses himself?

He raised his trembling hands to his face, stroking it ever so gently.

_"Eren, I should be the one asking you that favour."_

_"Promise me, don't ever leave."_

He didn't know if Eren had heard him but as fresh tears rolled down his closed eyes, he automatically leaned down to kiss it away. He wondered if he could tell him how much he loved him, and how it almost hurts. He leaned down further as the salty taste of Eren's tears enticed him to taste him even more or even just a little. He held his breath as he kissed the brunet at the corner of his mouth.

.

* * *

.

Mikasa gave the pair a hard glare as they walk to the Lunchroom the following day. Her gaze never left Levi as he ushered the brunet towards their direction, patting him at his shoulder as he did so. It confused her in an awful way but she didn't thought of it much because like they said, he and Eren were pretty close back then when they were kids. Maybe they were the best of friends but her gut twists whenever he sees Eren stare at him admiringly from a far since they've gotten to Rose. It looked like he almost adored him dearly.

Whatever it was though, she'll make sure she'll get to the bottom of it. She won't allow anyone to hurt Eren anymore. And she won't let anyone take him away either. She was taken aback to how selfish the thought was, but is how she felt. She had just lost another family. She didn't want to be alone again.

.

* * *

.

_"We'll gonna have to take Eren."_ Irvin said firmly. Levi sat silently across him as he braced himself into facing the inevitable.

_"You've probably seen how well he was doing the past few days. Normally, it would take weeks for someone normal to recover the injuries like those of Eren's."_

_"Hanji is monitoring him closely. The police knew what's happened so I decided immediately."_

_"You probably don't want to see him ending up like a lab rat." _

Levi almost flinched. He wouldn't let that happen to Eren. He already made a promise. He was grateful that Irvin is being considerate as ever.

He already owed him his life.

_"But I need you to answer one question for me, Levi." _Irvin paused as he looked onto the boy's soul.

.

_"If Eren turns, would you be able to stop him?"_

_._

Levi froze. That thought already lingered at the back of his mind for some time now, but he conveniently pushed it away of his system. But time is running out, and he cannot escape anymore.

.

_"Levi, can you kill him?"_

_"Can you do it?"_

_"Or would you rather have us kill him instead?" _

_._

Irvin was gravely serious. His eyes flashed something deadly and it bore through Levi. He felt like the world is closing in on him. He felt like suffocating.

He felt guilty.

.

_"I can."_

_"I will."_

_._

Irvin tried to look past Levi's impassive façade and into his inner turmoil.

_"Levi. I'm counting on your word."_

_"I will leave him to you."_

Irvin sighed deeply, releasing the air he was holding in his lungs. He really did not want to put this load on the kid. He felt guilty himself but there is nothing they can do right now than wait and prepare for the worst.

Eren was someone important to Levi. That he already knew. He cannot bear it if he will be the one to take him away from him, or even the military. He already took away his future. He will leave the decision to Levi. If he will need his help, then that will be the time he'll interfere. The blond man leaned back to his chair, as he tried not to massage his now aching temples. He turned his gaze back to the boy instead.

_"On the other hand though, we still might have a chance."_

_"What do you mean?"_

_"His father might still be alive."_

_"What does his father got—"_ Irvin cut him off.

_"Levi, I know."_

_"When Sophia almost turned,"_

_"She bit you."_

Levi didn't reply but his wide eyes tell it all.

Irvin had Sophia's body exhumed and tested after her morbid death. Petra did not really want to cooperate at all at first, but she knew that if she really was infected, she could have passed the virus to Levi already. She told him everything instead. Knowing this solidified Irvin's decision to take the boy in, under his close supervision. He thought that it was for the boy's own good, and for the many other people that surrounded him.

But three years had passed without any incident, not even a change of behaviour. Reported cases of infection had also died down across the country but Irvin still cannot sleep easily every night as he thought of waking up one day just to find out that the boy finally gave in and turned.

It scared him.

He doesn't know if he would be able to do it.

Levi was probably feeling the same way he felt back then, and it's almost cruel. But Grisha Jaeger, he thought, had done something that diminished or even eliminate the effect of the virus. It was not able to infect other people. It opened up the possibility of inventing a cure to stop the plague. But he knew that he cannot rely on possibilities alone. He needed something solid and reliable. And they needed the doctor for that. He wished it didn't take them this long but things already happened and history had already repeated itself once again.

Are they really too late?

.

* * *

.

Eren sat quietly along the Military post walkway beside Levi as they look below the ruined city. Just two more days and they will be heading back to Rose. The raven haired boy looked lost into his own thoughts as the cool wind blew past them in the cloudy afternoon. Everything felt surreal. Eren felt an invisible tug as he glanced to the other boy once more, seeing him staring back at him. His piercing blue eyes looked dull today and he cannot once again read his face even as he spoke.

_"Eren, do you know where your father was?"_ he asked.

Eren really wasn't sure, for his father was usually going in and out of town, doing research and visiting patients. He rarely stays put at home and he wondered if he had already known what happened to Trost, and to his family. He tried to fight the shiver that involuntarily swept his body.

_"I don't know. My mom told me the last time.. that he had gone to Shina. But that was two months ago. I didn't know if he had already returned before the attack."_

Levi didn't respond. He just continued to stare at him, as Eren tried to figure out what was running through his head.

_"Eren, do you know that my mother almost turned?"_ Eren's green eyes grew wide.

_"How?"_

The blue eyed boy averted his gaze back to the city, his face drained of emotions.

_"I'm not sure how she got infected, but she was, and your father.. He almost had cured her."_

Eren stiffened as Levi's tone changed to something close to desperation.

_"Eren, we need to find him."_

_"I—" _

Eren tried to continue.

_"I don't know if he's still alive out there."_

Levi whipped his head back to him, and Eren cannot grasp the emotion that surfaced into _his_ face. It's almost like he had a crazed look into him, and his eyes now gleamed with intensity. He suddenly reached for him, and gripped his arms tightly.

_"Eren listen to me—"_

_"I can't.. I just can't do it!"_ His voice strained as his eyes seemed to lose focus.

_"I will do everything."_

_"I promise I won't let you turn."_

_"I don't want to kill you Eren!"_

Levi watched as sadness swept Eren's face. He guessed that he already knew what will happen if loses to the infection and turn. But he won't do it, no matter what happens. He may have lied to Irvin and everyone else but he cannot lie to himself. He cannot live with himself knowing that he's the one who killed Eren, with his own hands, with his own sword.

Eren reached into him in return, holding his arms lightly, as he tried to muster a smile. He guessed it looked broken instead, as it reflected unto Levi's face.

_"Don't worry Levi, even if I turn, I'm sure I'll never forget you."_

_"I may forget everything else, but not you."_

Levi looked pained.

_"How can you say that?"_

_"I won't let you turn you idiot."_

Eren finally managed a more genuine smile at his reply and it makes Levi feel better.

_"But if I do.. and if I forget you.."_

_"Promise me."_

_"You'll be the one to do it, Levi."_

Levi did not answer as he pulled the brunet into a kiss, capturing his mouth with his own. Everything was hazy as his heart pounded loudly, and he wondered if the brunet can actually hear it. But it didn't matter now because Eren was kissing him back. He felt a little shy against his eager mouth and it drives him over the edge. He felt as one of the brunet's hand travelled to his hair, entangling and pulling him even closer, deeper. This is what he wanted, and he is wanting more as Eren moaned softly against his mouth. He brought his hands to his face and broke the kiss gently, breathing heavily against the tiny distance between them. He was trying to even out his racing heart but to no avail, as he stared into Eren's large green eyes, which looked so vivid at the moment. His thumb involuntarily travelled to the brunet's still parted lips, brushing it gently, feeling Eren's breathing and admiring its reddened and swollen state. He kissed it once more, lingering just for a second.

.

_"I hope you won't forget this, Eren."_

_._

They didn't need words at all, because this time they were sure. Every doubt has gone, and all that's left are silent promises that willed them to go on when everything else had gone wrong.

.

.

Levi stared at the bronze key that dangled from Eren's necklace. He had never seen him wearing it before.

_"I guess, this might help us even just a little."_ The brunet started, holding it up.

_"You know, when I was a kid I actually thought of becoming a doctor. I wanted to save lives. But things have changed and I—" _

_"Well, my father gave this to me. This is the only copy of his key to our basement. It's my father's private office. We might learn something if we go there."_

Levi nodded in return.

_"Do you want to bring them along?"_

_"No. Just the two of us is alright."_

_"Okay. I'll tell Irvin. We still have two days before we go back."_

.

* * *

.

Eren flinched as Mikasa shot him an angry glare. It was early in the morning and she seemed to be pretty jumpy today and for the past few days, but it was understandable. Many things had happened and he knew she was just worried about him. He hoped though that she'll stop her obvious show of dislike to Levi. Armin wasn't his usual self as well, for he had been quiet most of the time, looking lost. Jean was loud as usual, and he can't help himself but voice out his inner musings. Nothing seemed normal after all.

From that point on, when they arrived at Trost, everything they knew had changed. Soon enough when they return to Rose, they'll gonna have to make a decision. But now there are more important matters for Eren, and he will be lying if he said he wasn't hoping for the best. They may not find his father soon enough, but maybe his research might be able to help him and the legion instead. He did not want to think about what's going to happen if they found nothing of relevance to the Eotenum virus.

Eren glanced to Mikasa once more, as he waited for Levi at the hallway. She had already stopped protesting a while ago about him going with the captain alone back to the city. He was glad Armin could still talk her out of something when he asked him to. It is very rare that she listens to him, considering he was a little older than her and even if he was her acting brother. If anyone beats his stubbornness, he guessed it will be Mikasa. He suppressed a sigh of relief when he saw Levi walking towards them with Irvin.

_"Are you ready Eren?"_ Levi started.

The brunet gave him a nod.

_"Are you sure you don't want to bring Hanji?"_ Irvin asked. Levi replied immediately as he turned to blond man.

_"Of course not."_

_"Alright."_

Irvin gave him a small smile in return as his eyes caught on another person.

_"We will be going then."_

_"Try to get back as soon as possible."_

Irvin waited as the two boys left his sight. He shifted his attention to the brunet girl.

_"Don't worry about him. He knows what he's doing. And besides Levi's with him, I'm sure he can handle the situation if it gets worse."_

The girl still looked stiff but her previous angry eyes were now reduced to sadness.

_"I'm sorry Commander, I just can't help but get worried for Eren."_

_"He's the only one I have left. I can't afford to lose him."_

Irvin kept his thoughts to himself as he stared at her sullen form.

Soldiers don't act alone based on their feelings. They need to think rationally also about the current situation, making a decision based on calculated plans, thinking pre-emptively about the consequences of different actions. If one acted on emotions alone, everything is bound to go wrong.

Mikasa Ackerman makes a good soldier, but she needed to keep her emotions in check especially if it concerns Eren. The situation has changed now for him and his future, and emotions aren't enough to save him.

.

.

Levi and Eren secured their horses outside as they approached their destination. Just a week had passed and the whole place looked worn out already, like it was abandoned already for a long time ago. They slowly climbed the steps onto Eren's house, neither of them saying a word. They walked past the broken door as Eren lead the way to the house's basement. The brunet halted for second as they pass the kitchen, looking at the now vacant floor. Eren forced his stare away as the grizzly images flooded his mind. He willed for his legs to move forward, but he hesitated as he felt a warm hand on his arm.

_"Eren. You're shaking. Are you okay?"_ Levi asked, looking concerned.

The brunet suddenly felt his own nails digging on the palm of his hands and he unclenched it, giving Levi a nod.

_"Yes, I'm fine. Sorry, let's go now."_

They moved to a locked door just past the dining area, and Eren reached for the shiny key that hung in his neck. He pushed it in the key hole and turned.

He swung the door slowly, its creaking sound filling the silence. This is the first time that he'd go down to their basement, and Eren doesn't know what to find below. He heard as Levi light up a match, feeding it to the oil lamp he held. They descended the stairs going down the depths of the earth.

Everything looked out of proportion as they scanned the room, seeing papers and other documents scattered upon the floor. The furnitures are also stumbled, as if someone had went into a rampage and just thrashed on everything. Eren cannot imagine his father doing so, as he was a calm and collected man. He wondered what happened to make him snap.

_"I guess we just need to check everything."_ Eren heard Levi say. The raven haired boy approached him, handing him the other lamp. Eren started to pick up the documents by the floor, scanning for something in relevance to what they are looking for. Finding none, he headed to a work table instead, placing the lamp over it. Various documents are scattered here also, but he chose to examine what seemed like a journal instead. He saw his father's familiar writing as he flipped that first pages and he read on.

.

_Eotena Project_

_Grisha Jaeger_

_Year 841-842_

.

Eren was feeling a little shocked. He already knew based on what Levi had told him that his father knew about it, but he was still skeptical about it, until now.

..

.

_July 12, Year 841._

_Subject A: _

_Day 25._

_Conducted blood examination. Results had proven that the blood contained the virus. _

_Subject in a constant feverish state._

_Shallow breathing._

_Eyes always unfocused._

_Memory loss._

_Recognition failure._

_Body rejects food and other necessary fluids._

_Injected substance Type C. _

_No notable reaction for the past three hours. Needs monitoring for the next three days._

_.._

_._

Eren flipped the pages more, feeling a little astounded. He was viewing his father's private work.

..

.

_August 9, Year 841._

_Subject A:_

_Day 10._

_Subject seemed to repel substance C._

_Blood examination had proven that the virus is immune to the substance._

_Subject injected substance Type D._

_No notable reaction for the first three hours._

_Time: 11:45 pm._

_Fever has gone down considerably. _

_Heart rate is slow._

_Shallow breathing._

_.._

_._

_September 20, Year 841._

_Subject A:_

_Day 2._

_Subject repelled substance D._

_Blood examination had proven that the virus is immune to the substance._

_Subject injected substance Type E._

..

.

_It has been a failure,_ Eren thought as he flipped the pages more, scanning his father's progress on someone he didn't know. He was going for the latter pages but stopped as he heard Levi call him suddenly.

_"Eren."_

Eren closed the journal and slipped it in his bag. He just probably view it later. He walked farther to the room where the other boy was and saw what he was pointing at.

_"There's another door."_

Eren walked towards it consciously, eyeing the discreetly camouflaged entrance. He placed his palm against its surface and pushed. He didn't expect that it would budge, but it did, and he was shocked once more as he saw the figure on the floor. His chest constricted at his broken form, and he almost staggered on his feet. Levi quickly held him though, and approached the man.

His limp body seemed to be dead for days now, but he didn't stench. His features had changed to something else, and it looked like he was on a struggle as his hand clenched on his chest, fisting his clothes. On his other hand he held a syringe, containing a small portion of a liquid that glows an eerie green color.

.

.

Levi felt all of his hopes leave him.

Grisha Jaeger was already dead.

.


	10. Once more

**Don't know what to put here. ;_; Are you guys still reading this? lol. I'm already thinking of ending this..**

**This chapter is still subject for editing.**

* * *

.

The Scouting Legion had extracted Grisha's body for examination. They felt bad for Eren for his father will not be having at least a proper burial anymore, and they needed to know what actually happened to him. The unknown substance that he held was to be scrutinized also, for it may be what they're looking for. They are blindly hoping for a miracle. Eren has not yet surrendered the journal though, still feeling a little violated for sharing his private work to everyone after all those years. Maybe he'll read it first, and then he will decide if the world needed to know about everything his father did.

Levi was still not leaving his side, and Eren was grateful. He felt numb from pain already. They handed everything else they have found in the basement to Hanji, and it's up to them what to make about it. Hanji was undoubtedly looking excited despite of it all. She was a woman of science and things like this give her a weird thrill. Eren felt tired. Mikasa is anything but furious when she heard that their father would be held custody by the Legion. Her protests surely had died because they knew well enough that they needed to do sacrifices to move forward, no matter how big or small. There are no shortcuts to this, but Eren wished he could just skip it all.

The Scouting Legion headed back to Rose the following day. The Military fortress looked more intimidating than ever and the looks on the Military Police's faces told them that they are expecting some good news after all.

.

* * *

.

Eren felt like everyone purposely avoids him since they returned. Maybe the Police had already disclosed his current condition, and well, he cannot really blame them, can he? Just the looks in their faces tells it all. It was all a mixture of disgust, fear, and distrust. It is like they are calculating his every move, just waiting for him to snap. He was tired of paying attention to it now though. Armin and Mikasa were still there for him, and Levi. They were more than enough.

All the new recruits have gathered to the parade ground the next day, as they awaited their impending fate. Most had already voiced out their desire to immediately leave the military, while some few others find it morbidly exciting to defend humanity against the Eotens. Eren didn't have to make choices anymore, for his fate was already decided.

The trainee squads lined up stiffly against each other, never averting their gaze from the General and to the Commanders of the Millitary's Legions. They will be bringing anything but bad news, that, they were sure of. The Military Police Commander took the stage.

_"Every one of you, I assume, has already witnessed what took place at Trost."_

_"And as you can see, we need more soldiers in the Scouting Legion that are brave enough to defend the kingdom from those abominations."_

_"The police force had lost a chunk of its army from the attack in Trost. Unless more capable people join the Recon Corps, our numbers will continue to dwindle against these kinds of attacks. Their expertise in the battle field helps the police to focus on defense. The Police's primary duty is to ensure the safety of their people, and like the Recon Corps, we also prioritize on finding exceptional young people to join us and The King's army. We do not fight in the front lines but we bring great support to the army." _

_"The decisions are yours to make, you can even quit now, and we will let you go home to your family. But if you join us, we will make sure you'll get what you deserve for devoting your life to protecting the people."_

Jean scoffed as he watched the Military Police Commander ramble on. He surely, blatantly spat that those who will be joining the Scouting Legion will surely face death. _Who would want to join a suicidal army anyway? _Of course everybody would want to join the Police instead and get lost behind the scenes.

It is not a secret that those who joins the Police and the King's Army receives more credit and recognition, and Jean felt a little ashamed for the Commander of the Scouting Legion. He was sure that many recruits that decided to stay will join the Police, why die in vain if you could choose to die like a glorified hero?

_At least he's finished talking. _

Jean watched as the Police Commander left, and the blond man entered the stage, looking stern. He was curious about what he's going to say. How can he convince these people to stay and join him?

_"As you probably heard, your safety is not guaranteed if you join the Scouting Legion." _

_"I can only reassure you one thing. You will fight beside the strongest of soldiers of our nation. If you feel like you have a great sense of purpose in joining the military, then join us. Together let us put an end to this madness." He looked grave as he scanned the faces of everyone, trying to look past their scared façade. _

_"If you die, I will make sure that your legacy will be passed on amongst the next generations of this army."_

_"Even if you die, you'll live forever, in our minds, in our hearts."_

_"We don't need heroes, but we need soldiers that can make sacrifices to win. We need people that are willing to defy fate. We need people that are willing to secure the safety not only their kind but also the future."_

_"You will be handing your life to the army once you made your choice. Think about yourself and your future." _

Everyone looked stunned as the blond commander gave them a salute and walked away. The Military Trainee Commander stepped in return, signalling the end of the meeting.

_"You heard them. We will give you a week to decide. Until then, make up your minds."_

.

* * *

.

_"I think we've got something."_

The spectacled woman excitedly announced as she paced the laboratory quickly, giving Irvin a grin.

_"Is it an antidote?" _The blond man asked.

_"Not really, but I think it's pretty close. He was almost there."_

_"If it is not, then what are the chances that it can actually cure the infected?"_

_"Fifty percent."_

Irvin's head spun.

_"What do you mean?"_

_"I am pretty sure it can stop the infection, I saw what it does to the virus with my own eyes. But we don't know yet what will happen after it does. I think it was the side effect that killed Dr. Jaeger, after all."_

_"Can you modify it? Eliminate the side effects?"_

_"Unfortunately, I cannot modify another virus."_

_"I was too, stunned to know that it was some sort of virus until I confirmed it. We can only culture and reproduce it. And then blindly hope for the best."_

_"How much time do you need?"_

_"Another week or so, I guess."_

_"I'm expecting you'll begin Eren's treatment after that."_

_"I will."_

_"How about Dr. Jaeger?"_

_"We still need him for further testing, I'm sorry. I still need to confirm what caused his death, exactly." _

_. _

Hanji felt like she was following Dr. Jaeger's footsteps as she scribbled her notes on a blank page of her journal. She just finished reading all of the doctor's notes that Eren surrendered the other day. It listed everything that he knew about the Eotenum virus and his attempts to reverse it. It has all spiralled into failure until he abruptly stopped writing near the end of his journal. She wondered why he stopped recording his progress suddenly. She guessed she'll never know why.

She just finished administering the antidote or more likely, the virus, to Eren, and it has gone badly. It seemed his body repels it or maybe it was just a side effect. The poor kid just vomited his guts out and he was having a fever. He complains of being nauseous and light-headedness. This was just the first day and she felt a little frustrated already. Her previous excitement had melted away immediately after seeing his body's reaction on the treatment. His hateful stare bored a hole in her head and she wondered if it was still Eren looking at her that moment.

_September 12, Year 845._

_Administered a small amount of the Substance. _

_Subject was vomiting and is in a feverish state._

_Suffering from dizziness._

_Lost focus and appetite._

_No signs of improvement for the last 6 hours._

She closed her journal. She felt the heaviness in her stomach and wondered if time was enough. What if the effect also varies from one person to another? What if they are already too late to save Eren? They only tested the substance on small amount of the cultured virus. They have no more living subjects to test it on, except Eren. She grimaced at the thought. She had no choice but to wait.

.

* * *

.

Eren felt like puking his guts out again for the fourth time that day. He felt awful ever since his system received that substance. His body definitely protested, and he was having a skull-splitting headache but he thought that was much better than to suffer hearing the whispering in his head all night long. It has begun just a few days ago, and it was driving him crazy. He tried to occupy his mind with something else, but he felt detached from himself and it scares him.

He didn't even bother on bringing a lamp now, as he strolled on the dim hallways of the headquarters. His eyes were enough. It wasn't natural at all, to see clearly against the darkness around him, but he can't really do anything about it now. He didn't want to endure the stares that he receives from people when he goes out of the infirmary in the day, either. Mikasa and Armin's company was nice, even Jean, but he was feeling a little bit tired of pretending that everything is going well. He wanted to lash out on everything, thrash on everything he could grasp his fingers on, but he can't do it, he just can't. He just stares in the ceiling instead, as he waited for his anger to dissipate. He tried imagining Levi's face, and the moment when they were playing piano together, a long, long time ago when they were still kids.

He halted when he reached a familiar door and knocked quietly. _He_ didn't look surprised to see him, as he was let in instantly. He was glad. He just wanted to see Levi because his day and everything else had gone shitty. At least with him, he didn't need to pretend. He was vulnerable against his stare and he welcomed the feeling.

_"How are you feeling now, Eren?"_ he asked as he sat beside him at the edge of the bed.

_"Awful."_

Eren let out a small laugh but it made him dizzy. Everything spun for a moment and his head was throbbing. Levi felt for his forehead and he somewhat stilled.

_"Do you need anything?"_

_"No.."_

_"But can I stay here?"_ He felt the other eye him warily.

_"Of course."_

Levi shifted beside him, adjusting the covers and the pillows in his bed. He was soon pulled into the mattress, and his comfortable bed made him sigh softly. Eren stared at him as he rolled to his side, admiring his peaceful face. He was lost in his thoughts again.

_"Can I hug you, Heichou?" _

It came out as an endearing tease, and Levi can't help but look at him in return. Eren knew that behaviours like this make Levi uneasy the most. It has been a long time since they exchanged light-hearted acts and he misses it.

_"Eren, you're practically burning from your fever." _

Levi tried to glare at him in the dark and Eren pouted as the blue eyed boy tucked him under the warm blanket. The other went back to his staring at the ceiling, cradling his head in his right hand. The brunet reached for a pillow in his head, hugging it instead. He tried to focus on giving Levi a pleading look, and he almost smiled when he turned to him once more.

_"Stop giving me that look Eren. I can feel it."_

Eren knew that Levi was amused albeit his irritated tone. _He won._

_"You could've just stabbed me instead. You make me feel like I did something wrong."_

_ "I just wanted to hug Levi Heichou." _

Eren heard Levi sigh as he was pulled against the other's chest, the pillow in between them. He closed his eyes in an instant as he breathed him in, feeling his hand as it tapped him softly to sleep. He tried to make sense of something that he mumbled against his hair, but it was too comfortable and his eyelids were too heavy.

.

* * *

.

_"Where were you Eren?"_ Mikasa asked the brunet angrily.

_"You weren't in the infirmary last night."_

_"I just wanted to take a walk—"_

_"Don't lie to me Eren!"_

_"Eren. We're here. Aren't we enough?"_

_"What?! What the hell are you talking about Mikasa? Can I not just take a walk now or go to wherever the hell I want to go?"_

_"Eren. You know well that you cannot do as you please now."_

_"You can't cage me like an animal."_

_"I can't. But they can. And they can do whatever they want with you! Why don't you understand? Don't give them a damned reason to do so Eren!"_

_"Shut up! I'm tired of this! Stop acting like my mother!"_

Jean cringed at Eren's hostility and decided to butt in. He was silently watching their not so uncommon banter, but the brunet seemed really out of himself today.

_"Hey, have you lost your shit Eren? The fuck is wrong with you!"_

_"What the fuck is right Jean?! Everything is wrong!" _Eren screeched back.

Jean felt lost at the words that were shouted against him, the truth reverberating against the hallow walls of the lunch room. Everyone in the area stopped to look at them, annoyance and curiosity etched in their faces. Levi felt the same, as he strode to where they were, giving everyone a hard glare.

_"If you want to scream at each other then go outside." _

Everyone tensed at the harsh tone. Eren flinched, but his anger still clouded his face. Armin quickly chimed in, releasing a string of apologies awkwardly.

_"I'm sorry sir, Eren was just having a bad day is all. It's just a misunderstanding."_

The blond sweated against Levi's weighing stare, and shut up. The raven haired boy directed his gaze back to the fuming brunet.

_"Eren. You're coming with me. Now."_

Silence filled the room as the two walked outside. Mikasa can't help but get irritated instead about the whole situation. She hated the fact that Eren still treats her like a kid. Or was she giving him the same treatment? She was just worried. Mikasa lost her train of thought as he felt a hand enveloping her own shaking ones.

_"Hey, you okay?"_ The brunet girl unclenched her fists as she looked at Jean. Worry replaced his usual smug face.

_"No."_

.

_"What the hell is that about?"_ Levi asked the brunet. His tone was calm once again.

_"I don't know. I was angry."_

_"She's your sister. She's worried about you."_

_"I know. I just—"_

_"Apologize to her later."_

_"…"_

Eren didn't answer anymore as he felt a sudden wave of exhaustion hit him. He was really getting tired of everything that was happening.

He thought about nonsensical things as he trailed behind Levi quietly. They were now outside the parade ground and he felt the morning sun greet him.

_"Where are we going?" _He asked tiredly.

Levi didn't answer but he turned to him and extended out his hand. Eren had no idea why but he felt his cheeks warm up in the act. He reached for his outstretched hand hesitantly. He didn't ask him anymore as he let him lead the way. He can feel the warmth in his calloused hands, and thought idly what other people would think when they see them like this. The stopped when they reach a particular clearing. He didn't let go of his hand.

He was blushing uncontrollably when he stared at him, his eyes searching. For what, he didn't know. He swallowed hard as he was pulled closer, and he cannot look away, from his mouth, his eyes, when he spoke.

_"Why do you have to be something that I cannot have.." _

It came out almost like a factual statement rather than a question. It made Eren feel uneasy nonetheless, and confused. His question sounded small and curious.

_"What do you mean?" _

Eren felt him squeeze his hand a little, yet his piercing gaze never wavered. He never heard the answer for _he_ was leaning once more towards him now, eyes fluttering close. He didn't want to close his eyes as he watched his beautiful face. He can never forget a face like _his_. It felt different when their lips met. It is not desperate and demanding like the first time, for it almost felt innocent. He can't help but close his eyes in the end, afraid to make any sudden movements and ruin the moment.

Levi saw his dreamy eyes when they parted, the eyes that had captivated him over and over again from the first time he saw them. This is the face he'll remember forever.

.

* * *

.

Days have passed there seemed to be no progress in Eren's condition. He was looking more terrible than before, his skin losing its healthy tan. His eyes deepen from lack of sleep and he was becoming irritable about small things.

He will be having another treatment today, and Levi waited outside the infirmary to make sure that everything went well. Hanji had told him that he shouldn't really be here, and he now knew why.

Eren's screams of agony filled the whole infirmary. He wanted to bolt inside that instant, to check what the hell Hanji was doing to Eren. She said she was just going to administer a small dosage of the serum like always, but his excruciating screams sounded like he was being torn apart instead. He decided to check on him nonetheless, for he cannot bear his cries anymore.

_"Eren, it's finished. Breathe. Cmon' you can do it."_

_"That right, just breathe."_

Levi stilled at a corner as Hanji tried to comfort the brunet's shaking form. Eren was sweating all over, and his eyes were shut tightly as he gritted his teeth, trying hard not to pull the restraints that bind him in a chair. Tears fell uncontrollably in his face, and he can tell that the brunet was stifling a scream. He let out a shaky breath instead, opening his eyes that now glow brightly. It focused to where he was standing, and he gave the brunet a reassuring nod. He watched as the brunet stammered on his words, and he resisted the urge to take him away now, from this place.

_"I'mm.. I— I'mm burn..ninggg."_

Hanji's voice cut through the icy air, and Levi forced himself to approach her instead.

_"How is he doing so far?"_ He asked her in a hushed tone.

_"He's still unstable. The virus is fighting the serum."_

_"But we don't know how long his body would be able to take it."_

Levi clenched his jaw.

_"You didn't tell me what actually happened to Dr. Jaeger."_

Hanji averted her gaze back to the dazed brunet and Levi cannot read her face anymore.

_"He injected himself with that same serum."_

_"He overdosed himself."_

_"I guess he had no other choice."_

Hanji released a sigh as she walked to her table. She seemed to be looking for something and held out a piece of paper as she turned back to Levi, eyes apologetic.

_"Can you please give this to Eren later?"_

Levi stared at the grayed out picture of happy family. The little boy that was in between his mother and father looked absolutely happy, his eyes vivid and his smile wide. He felt a stab in his chest and he unconsciously flipped it around, automatically reading the writings behind it.

.

_I'm sorry Eren._

_I can't save her._

_._

_I killed her._

.

* * *

.

Levi does not exactly know if he should worry more when Eren started showing up to his room more frequently during the night. Though he tried to ignore it, he can't help but see the underlying fear in the brunet's eyes as days went by. He can feel it as he crawls and curls beside him quietly, not clutching but rather touching him gently.

_"I feel at peace when I'm with you."_

If only he could only shut the voices in his head, he wouldn't be feeling like a pathetic kid right now. But no matter what he did, it was there, at the back of his mind, whispering unto him, things that were unkind and inhuman. It was almost maddening, and Eren only finds salvation from one single person. His voice chases the ghosts away, and it lets him rest for a while.

.

It was one of those nights again, that Levi wakes up as he felt Eren stir beside him uncomfortably. He knew already that it will be another bad night for the brunet, and he felt raw. _He_ was sitting beside him as he opened his eyes, looking as his green eyes that stared back to him in the dark. His heart skipped a beat because he can clearly see it, those green orbs that was glowing ethereally and knowingly. His stare did not let go of his eyes as Eren leaned down to him, inhaling deeply against his neck. It was frightening.

He felt a dejavu hit him in the head.

Levi felt as a warm hand found his torso, slipping under the fabric of his shirt. It slowly stroked his abdomen, creeping its way to the rapid beating in his chest. He found his voice against his startling action, as he gripped the hand that hovered against his heart.

_"Eren! What are you doing?"_

It came out as a stern whisper, but the brunet didn't seem to take notice. He fought an involuntary shiver as Eren whispered lowly back to his ear, feeling as he still breathed him in.

_"You're heart beats so fast." _

_"What are you scared of, Levi?"_

Levi was sure he was having goosebumps as Eren drawled those words of his mouth. Everything felt vague, wrong even. He wanted to know what was going on inside Eren's head.

_"I'm not scared." _

_"But you're acting weird." _

He released his grip on the brunet's hand, and regretted it as it was taken quite quickly, pinning it beside his head. The same goes to his other hand, and he found himself suddenly trapped beneath his grasp. Eren's grip was deadly.

_"Liar."_

Levi wasn't scared, he was terrified. He felt like he was having a nightmare. He saw his glowing eyes as his face hovered above his own, looking straight into his soul. He guessed his face revealed everything as Eren gave him a grin that was full malice. It looked out of place and made him feel sick.

_"Stop it already."_ Levi almost spat.

It fell into deaf ears as Eren leaned down once more, grazing Levi's jaw and neck. Levi could almost feel his smile against his skin when spoke.

_"You really smell good."_

He can feel his heart thrumming in his whole body but _his_ teeth felt more menacing against his skin. It sends jolts into his body as he kissed, sucked, grazed and bit lightly unto his neck going down to his throat. If this happened in another place, another time, and another circumstance, he would actually could've get lost to the pleasure, but it was not. It felt odd, detached and wrong. He tried to even out his breathing as he cleared his foggy head, mustering some inner strength to fight for dominance.

_"What do you want Eren?"_ he asked, trying to distract him even for a moment. His glowing eyes shot up to him as he kissed his torso, his warm tongue licking against his cold skin.

_"Do you want to take me, Eren?"_

He almost staggered against his words, but it seemed to hit_ him_ as something flashed in his vividly glowing eyes. Eren immediately stopped as he loomed once more above him, his eyes flashing a golden glow. It was absolutely mesmerizing, but it definitely isn't human anymore.

_"I want to devour every inch of you." _

Levi's blood ran cold at his words, and his sudden ravage kiss. But he returned his greedy kiss nonetheless, still not yielding. The brunet finally let go of his hands as he grabbed on his nape, deepening the kiss, whilst his other hand travelled to his waist, pulling and almost tearing the other's clothes. Levi quickly took the opportunity, and flipped their positions over, breaking the kiss and going for Eren's hands in return. He straddled his lap, warning him to not make a move. He looked at _his_ smiling face as he tried to catch his breath. He wanted to wipe it off.

_"Do you know what you're doing?!"_ Levi almost hissed as he gripped the brunet's wrists tighter. He watched as his smile turned into a grimace.

_"I thought you liked me."_

Levi's reply got caught in his throat. He leaned down to him instead, his eyes softening as he tried to find _him _in the other's eyes.

_"You're not my Eren."_

_"I want my Eren back."_

He wasn't sure but he thought he saw struggle on the brunet's face. He fought the urge to let him go as he it turned into pain, like he was having some kind of internal battle. He was squirming away from him but he needed more.

_"I thought you said you won't forget."_

He stilled beneath him and he could only hear his heavy breathing.

Levi closed his eyes as he heard him say his name, the way he only does. He released his hands and cupped his face, bringing their foreheads together.

_"Eren?"_ he whispered.

He kissed him gently now, and it felt right. He sighed gratefully against _his_ lips.

.

.

_"I'm still here." _

.

.

_"You sure know how to frighten the hell out of me."_

_._

.


End file.
